← 2014 June 2014

  • Does everyone else mystery shop their competitors?

  • Idea for a band name: Tony Abbott and the Beacons of Humanity.

  • Breaking News: Just spent 5min wondering if it's easier or better to just sleep in the car or go inside the house. Story is still developing

  • Idea: A Transformer that transforms into an actually good movie about Transformers.

  • "Palazzo Versace said we had to call you!" #phonecalloftheday

  • Just caught an UberX car in Brisbane. I don't think I'll ever catch a taxi again.

  • Big Day Out? More like Big Day Ousted. Yes, I did that.

  • This story is developing #trainnews

  • And two strangers have disposed of their iPhones and are engaging in what seems to be a conversation #trainnews

  • Curly haired girl is breaking out the bold bright orange sweater today #trainnews

  • Balding guy is not thrilled at the prospect of going to work today #trainnews

  • Long hair girl is riddled with a disease, coughing furiously #trainnews

  • Light pink hair girl is doing great things with her follicles #trainnews

  • Time for the 8:10am train to a Brisbane news update.

  • "A year from now you will wish you had started today." - Community Activist, Karen Lamb

  • Who was #PeterGretse's employer at the time he was arrested in Egypt?

  • What would Brian Boitano do?

  • Price to change $90 @JetstarAirways flight: $375. Price for replacement flight: $79. FFS.

  • Anyone know anyone that has a large format printer or plotter? A really big one.

  • Facebook's down!!! This is just like the prophecy foretold!

  • This explains why Twitter's been sucking recently, I was oddly not following @danieljohnhall

  • I thought radio was a cool job. It's got nothing on being the wedding celebrant.

  • Seriously shitting myself because my decision to play @IGGYAZALEA almost got me killed.

  • I like public transport but recent train travels tell me that I'm almost always going to be sitting next to a student or a criminal.

  • Cool guys on the train playing hip hop on speaker. So I start playing music loudly. Then an undercover cop arrests them for weapons.

  • "Love is when you tell a guy you love his shirt and then he wears it everyday" - seven year old girl

  • Well, if I achieved anything today, it was 'looking completely desperate to a PR officer'

  • A survey of all of the Sydney taxis I've caught this week tells me that 100% of Sydney listens to @smoothfm953

  • Spent an hour trying to find the Australian Technology Park so I could hear @photomatt answer two questions about #Wordpress

  • I don't think I'm sage enough to be dishing out life advice, but I can definitely advise you never trust Apple or Google Maps in a big city

  • "You're one connection away from being able to change your life." - Author, Larry Bennett

  • Yo, Sydney, anyone up for dinner? I just had my evening open up.

  • Where to get an awesome breakfast in Kirribilli? Assuming @TonyAbbottMHR's not inviting me over.

  • My driver is pleasant and I got a free bottle of water. Best non-taxi EVER!

  • Apparently tonight is the wrong night to signup to @Uber - SMS verifications not working. Taxi line about 4 bazillion km long @Uber_Sydney

  • This might sound obvious, but pharmacies at airports don't sell razors. A little FYI for everyone playing along at home.

  • FYI: #TheFaultInOurStars is not an expose on how the media unnecessarily celebrates celebrity culture. Good movie though, cried waterfalls.

  • Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Mike Mike Mike!

  • I think there's a little bit of Mike in all of us today #Socceroos #WorldCup #TonyAbbott #MeelayIsHardToPronounce

  • If you sign an NDA, can you say you've signed an NDA? Asking for a friend.

  • All of my email inboxes are 0:0 #scorrreeee

  • How about that local football team playing in South America today.

  • A study has proven that crayfish suffer from anxiety. That's cray cray.

  • Hashtag sayinghashtaginreallife

  • My superpower is remembering the words to every Cake sing when it comes on the radio.

  • [Redacted]!!!!!!!!!!! #OMFG

  • He's got the warrant!!!

  • Guy on the train is appearing in court next week for attempting to steal a plane ... and fraud.

  • "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius

  • Lunch at GYG. Group of young students walk in. Nekminit I'm that old guy drinking a beer at lunch, by myself, on Thursday, next to students.

  • "You were frickin' awesome! We had quite a few people come up to us at the wedding saying that it was good to see a fun, young celebrant"

  • If the original computer engineers were being honest with themselves they would've called the thing that held information forever a wife.

  • I don't know what everyone is freaking out about. There's only been 74 school shootings since the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012.

  • I indirectly watch The Gilmore Girls with Britt, not for the feminine rom-com-drama, but for the subtle and awesome cultural references.

  • Just letting you know so you can prepare the balloons and confetti.

  • I'm probably an hour or two away from reaching inbox:zero for the first time in weeks.

  • "Postage stamps are such a cool idea!" - @snow_withers

  • I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy that actually replies to spam email with a reference to legal action and the Spam Act of 2003.

  • In five years or so you'll wish you had of followed @redlips_onships before it was cool (that's like, now)

  • Andrew Denton once said that he only really asked variations of one question on Enough Rope, basically: “Life is hard, how are you coping?”

  • Is there a literal 'Internet cafe' on the Gold Coast that serves coffee like a cafe, but has Internet sessions that last more than 30min?

  • "No-one goes to radio station websites! That's why we're listening to the radio, because we're not at the computer" - Britt yelling at SeaFM

  • There's just something about driving a convertible that says "I'm a poor decision maker"

  • Any West Aussies got a copy of The West nearby? I want to check whether a particular story ran today.

  • My greatest fear is that Kanye West will only be truly appreciated after his death.

  • Guys, Instagram is down. Let me know your fax number, I've got a selfie to send you.

  • If you really were a comedian you would've made a parody of Asshole by @DenisLeary about @TonyAbbottMHR by now.

  • "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you are right." - Henry Ford

  • Dear @RobinaTC, your public WiFi terms and conditions acceptance splash page has some CSS errors. I had to disable CSS to click "Login".

  • "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." - Art Linkletter

  • Just been voted the Universe's most rad celebrant. Legit.

  • Looking forward to taking a selfie with a guy who's hopefully eaten live chickens with Marilyn Manson, or something.

  • I'm going to be marrying Rob Zombie's drummer's father-in-law, which is enough of a connection to get 17 y/po Josh to look up from the N64.

  • ARN building in Stones Corner has a KIIS FM logo on it.

  • Please stop sharing the new 'Bieber being stupid' video, I'm waiting for the box set to come out.

  • Probably will never see that face again #RIPDoc

  • They say that you can measure a man by his remaining iPhone battery charge. I am the 1%.

  • Just had a chat with @SteveMillsPR and @BasilZempilas on @6PR about the @PopUpWed

  • Is there anyone actually giving out cigars to people that got close enough?

  • I should film him and release it as an exercise DVD.

  • Watching this man, across from me at the airport, eat an ice-cream has positively ruined ice-creams for me, forever.