← 2014June 2014
Does everyone else mystery shop their competitors?
Idea for a band name: Tony Abbott and the Beacons of Humanity.
Breaking News: Just spent 5min wondering if it's easier or better to just sleep in the car or go inside the house. Story is still developing
Idea: A Transformer that transforms into an actually good movie about Transformers.
"Palazzo Versace said we had to call you!" #phonecalloftheday
Just caught an UberX car in Brisbane. I don't think I'll ever catch a taxi again.
Big Day Out? More like Big Day Ousted. Yes, I did that.
This story is developing #trainnews
And two strangers have disposed of their iPhones and are engaging in what seems to be a conversation #trainnews
Curly haired girl is breaking out the bold bright orange sweater today #trainnews
Balding guy is not thrilled at the prospect of going to work today #trainnews
Long hair girl is riddled with a disease, coughing furiously #trainnews
Light pink hair girl is doing great things with her follicles #trainnews
Time for the 8:10am train to a Brisbane news update.
"A year from now you will wish you had started today." - Community Activist, Karen Lamb
Who was #PeterGretse's employer at the time he was arrested in Egypt?
What would Brian Boitano do?
Price to change $90 @JetstarAirways flight: $375. Price for replacement flight: $79. FFS.
Anyone know anyone that has a large format printer or plotter? A really big one.
Facebook's down!!! This is just like the prophecy foretold!
This explains why Twitter's been sucking recently, I was oddly not following @danieljohnhall
I thought radio was a cool job. It's got nothing on being the wedding celebrant.
Seriously shitting myself because my decision to play @IGGYAZALEA almost got me killed.
I like public transport but recent train travels tell me that I'm almost always going to be sitting next to a student or a criminal.
Cool guys on the train playing hip hop on speaker. So I start playing music loudly. Then an undercover cop arrests them for weapons.
"Love is when you tell a guy you love his shirt and then he wears it everyday" - seven year old girl
Well, if I achieved anything today, it was 'looking completely desperate to a PR officer'
A survey of all of the Sydney taxis I've caught this week tells me that 100% of Sydney listens to @smoothfm953
Spent an hour trying to find the Australian Technology Park so I could hear @photomatt answer two questions about #Wordpress
I don't think I'm sage enough to be dishing out life advice, but I can definitely advise you never trust Apple or Google Maps in a big city
"You're one connection away from being able to change your life." - Author, Larry Bennett
Yo, Sydney, anyone up for dinner? I just had my evening open up.
Where to get an awesome breakfast in Kirribilli? Assuming @TonyAbbottMHR's not inviting me over.
My driver is pleasant and I got a free bottle of water. Best non-taxi EVER!
Apparently tonight is the wrong night to signup to @Uber - SMS verifications not working. Taxi line about 4 bazillion km long @Uber_Sydney
This might sound obvious, but pharmacies at airports don't sell razors. A little FYI for everyone playing along at home.
FYI: #TheFaultInOurStars is not an expose on how the media unnecessarily celebrates celebrity culture. Good movie though, cried waterfalls.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Mike Mike Mike!
I think there's a little bit of Mike in all of us today #Socceroos #WorldCup #TonyAbbott #MeelayIsHardToPronounce
If you sign an NDA, can you say you've signed an NDA? Asking for a friend.
All of my email inboxes are 0:0 #scorrreeee
How about that local football team playing in South America today.
A study has proven that crayfish suffer from anxiety. That's cray cray.
Hashtag sayinghashtaginreallife
My superpower is remembering the words to every Cake sing when it comes on the radio.
[Redacted]!!!!!!!!!!! #OMFG
He's got the warrant!!!
Guy on the train is appearing in court next week for attempting to steal a plane ... and fraud.
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius
Lunch at GYG. Group of young students walk in. Nekminit I'm that old guy drinking a beer at lunch, by myself, on Thursday, next to students.
"You were frickin' awesome! We had quite a few people come up to us at the wedding saying that it was good to see a fun, young celebrant"
If the original computer engineers were being honest with themselves they would've called the thing that held information forever a wife.
I don't know what everyone is freaking out about. There's only been 74 school shootings since the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012.
I indirectly watch The Gilmore Girls with Britt, not for the feminine rom-com-drama, but for the subtle and awesome cultural references.
Just letting you know so you can prepare the balloons and confetti.
I'm probably an hour or two away from reaching inbox:zero for the first time in weeks.
"Postage stamps are such a cool idea!" - @snow_withers
I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy that actually replies to spam email with a reference to legal action and the Spam Act of 2003.
In five years or so you'll wish you had of followed @redlips_onships before it was cool (that's like, now)
Andrew Denton once said that he only really asked variations of one question on Enough Rope, basically: “Life is hard, how are you coping?”
Is there a literal 'Internet cafe' on the Gold Coast that serves coffee like a cafe, but has Internet sessions that last more than 30min?
"No-one goes to radio station websites! That's why we're listening to the radio, because we're not at the computer" - Britt yelling at SeaFM
There's just something about driving a convertible that says "I'm a poor decision maker"
Any West Aussies got a copy of The West nearby? I want to check whether a particular story ran today.
My greatest fear is that Kanye West will only be truly appreciated after his death.
Guys, Instagram is down. Let me know your fax number, I've got a selfie to send you.
If you really were a comedian you would've made a parody of Asshole by @DenisLeary about @TonyAbbottMHR by now.
"Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you are right." - Henry Ford
Dear @RobinaTC, your public WiFi terms and conditions acceptance splash page has some CSS errors. I had to disable CSS to click "Login".
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." - Art Linkletter
Just been voted the Universe's most rad celebrant. Legit.
Looking forward to taking a selfie with a guy who's hopefully eaten live chickens with Marilyn Manson, or something.
I'm going to be marrying Rob Zombie's drummer's father-in-law, which is enough of a connection to get 17 y/po Josh to look up from the N64.
ARN building in Stones Corner has a KIIS FM logo on it.
Please stop sharing the new 'Bieber being stupid' video, I'm waiting for the box set to come out.
Probably will never see that face again #RIPDoc
They say that you can measure a man by his remaining iPhone battery charge. I am the 1%.
Just had a chat with @SteveMillsPR and @BasilZempilas on @6PR about the @PopUpWed
Is there anyone actually giving out cigars to people that got close enough?
I should film him and release it as an exercise DVD.
Watching this man, across from me at the airport, eat an ice-cream has positively ruined ice-creams for me, forever.