← 2015January 2015
I got pulled over by a policewoman...
When I put down my window to ask what was wrong, she said "NOTHING!"
Honestly, it's kind of fun getting a new govt every few months. It's like a mobile phone contract, you don't want the same mobile again!
I'm sitting on a balcony in Cabarita and I can hear screams of joy cry out across Hen and Chicken Bay through the final moments of #AUSvKOR
Waa-hay!
My evening in Sydney just opened up - anything exciting happening in town?
It's 2015 right?
I can rent a hotel room online with a CC but @HotelRealm won't take a CC over the phone for a deposit when Britt's forgotten her CC?
Rather lazy and certainly overweight, he remarkedly paid his bills by simply talking #myozobituary
"Did you hear about that cat that came back to life after five days" an old man in Taree just told me #breakingnews
Hi Coffs Harbour
I think it's lovely that the @couriermail has put news reporting aside for a few days to transform into an LNP how-to-vote card #qldpol
We're finally at the end of the #Hottest100 where I recognise 1 in 3 songs
If the worst thing in your life today has something to do with Triple J or Taylor Swift then life's pretty awesome right?
If a brand can't back a song in the #Hottest100, does that mean if I write a post about liking a hipster song it gets excluded as well?
I need two witnesses to an elopement in Fortitude Valley right now, can you spare me a signature and 5 minutes?
I was just saying to someone the other day that Prince Phillip wasn't recognised for his efforts enough, that boy needs a Knighthood.
Waa-hay!
Really looking forward to Oz-Taylor! Day tomorrow #Tay4Hottest100
I'm pretty sure I just saw a @Qantas 727 landing into @BrisbaneAirport - I didn't think Qantas, or anyone, was flying B727s anymore.
Waa-hay!
Meta bumper sticker just seen in Brisbane: Campbell's a can't
Expedia, the recently new US owners of Wotif are firing 99% of their BNE-based workforce on Australia Day + increasing booking fee by $10
Have any Queensland candidates made policy promises about legislating for ride-sharing? #qldpol
Brisbane is: Saturday morning traffic jams. Thanks, Obama.
Subaru backwards is "ur a bus"
Waa-hay!
Waa-hay!
"Where does all the rain even go??" - Britt
Waa-hay!
My only employee is my wife.
Question for the accountants: I'm sleeping with my only employee, are there any capital gains things to worry about?
Waa-hay!
"You recently ordered some glitter for an enemy. Please note that there will be a bit of a delay as the site somehow got popular."
Have just been asked to do a wedding ceremony in a music festival!!!
If possible, close to Cabarita, but anywhere is awesome. Any recs?
I had a place but they're not available. Just somewhere for me to meet couples in Sydney.
I'm looking for a small meeting space, co-work pace w/ day rates, even just a cafe open into the evening that is meeting friendly in Sydney.
Decades from now, 2015 will be known as the year Taylor Swift divided a nation #Tay4Hottest100
It's my grandma's birthday in a few weeks and the big event is that she's coming out: she's telling all her friends that she's 80, not 75...
Have you been looking for wedding podcasts in all the wrong places? Check out @SaveTheDatePC!
Police threat level increases to high. Qld Police forced to wear political signs in sandwich board fashion for protection from budget cuts.
Waa-hay!
Homeward bound, see you in a week, Sydney!
Waa-hay!
"No matter how you used yesterday, you received 24 hours today." - An Unknown Author
Waa-hay!
First I saw @MolksTVTalk get a #Stan invite. Then I got one. Then @EvanD got one. Does everyone get one?
They've got it in for repairs overnight and now I'm out of touch and out of reach, so send my mail care of Bondi Beach!
I'm in Sydney and my iPhone died directly out the front of the George Street Apple Store.
BREAKING: Man handing out flyers in Pitt Street Mall has had his soul sucked out of him by the pure joy he receives from his employment.
I grew up wanting to "be on the radio" because I listened to Pauly, Mikey and The Sandman on @triplej every morning before school- HB folks!
Is it after the tennis yet?
Just watched #Interstellar on IMAX with @molkstvtalk ... just in awe
I love #UberX! It's like my non-English speaking mate picks me up from the airport and let's me control his Spotify.
#UberX is banned, or geoblocked from the airport.
I'd love to see how many passengers walk outside of @SydneyAirport to catch an #UberX, @Uber_Sydney? There's three of us at the moment.
Sydney bound!
Waa-hay!
I'd like to start a ska band, The Contending Bosstones.
I don't mean to boast but I just scheduled an 8am Saturday morning appointment. How's that, adult life?!
The Lego Movie WAS awesome, but an 83 minute ad shouldn't win an Oscar.
I think the thing everyone's missing here is that Shake It Off IS the actual hottest song of 2014 #ThisSickBeat #Tay4Hottest100
It's almost un-Australian to not vote for Tay at this point #Tay4Hottest100
Why can't it be taco Tuesday every night? Asking for a friend.
I need a street address in the Sydney CBD, preferably for a public business, to receive a single letter to - anyone?
#Tay4Hottest100 #neverforget
Waa-hay!
Thanks to @swoodgate I now know that I can be Googled at "psychotic celebrant Brisbane"
I love emptying kitty litter #affirmations #positivity #icandoit
I just saw a post from @Wil_Anderson on Facebook and realised that it's this weekend that @MolksTVTalk & I do Sydney. Woohoo!
Email from a couple "did not find you by googling 'hipster celebrant'....googled 'not old celebrant' haha"
How else will this cruel world deceive me?
Come on Eileen plays on Spotify and you're home alone. Kevin McCallister has nothing on me.
Waa-hay!
.@TwitterAU you know that's the ugliest way of tweeting right? Surely we could find a prettier way of doing this?
I've just realised that I've finished work in Brisbane too late and if I leave now I'm just going to sit in traffic. Sigh.
The first thing I'm going to ask Jesus is 'who is Ed Sheeran's song, Don't, about?'
Optus: behind the times.
There's a blog post on the way telling you why Valentine's Day is the best day to get married, not the cheesiest!
Want to get married on Valentine's Day? Today's your last chance to give one month's notice.
Waa-hay!
Mind you, it's nothing compared to the 33,067 emails that you guys sent me ...
My IT guys just told me that I sent 8,498 emails last year. Sorry 'bout that.
Remember when we used to order letterheads. Now we order a domain name.
People sometimes mistake me for a wedding celebrant. I'm actually just a professional email inbox emptier.
Do you ever think that @1200Techniques has lost faith in karma after no one wrote a song about their karma?
I probably tweet more than the average nerd. I think most tweets go unread and unnoticed. I tweet one inaccurate thing about the NBN, boom.
Waa-hay!
Bought a misspelled domain name last night, @hover probably needs to install a breathalyser.
Is there a 1800 number you call if you se someone using iOS 6?
Can you help me brainstorm a podcast name? I want to create a show about using tech, gadgets, websites, apps, to help solo/small businesses.
Call out for audio engineers/producers looking for work, msg me.
If there happens to be anyone with a spare couple of minutes in Melbourne's Tullamarine airport around 10:40am tomorrow morning let me know?
... so I'm never opening Messages on my iPhone again, sorry to anyone that ever messages me.
I don't know how your day is going but a client accidentally sent me a picture of his gear today ...
If your idea can be invalidated by a funny cartoon, your idea might need readjustment. Advice for entrepreneurs and terrorists.
I had no intention of any political campaigning #qldpol, but now I want to buy an 'I'm with stupid' shirt and go on #smurfwatch #FreeCanDo
I'm with stupid -> @Can_do_Campbell #FreeCanDo
Not sure how much I can say, but I know that this is not the last time everyone will hear from @Can_do_Campbell this #qldpol #FreeCanDo
OMG A MASSIVE COCONUT FELL AND ALMOST JUST KILLED ME. Tropical life is hard, yo #TheStruggleIsReal
Really looking forward to Channel 13 News' upcoming documentary on the human condition.
Can you buy @VirginAustralia lounge guest passes?
In other news, I'm three hours early for a flight.
Withers Law of Driving to @BrisbaneAirport from GC: leave early, there will be no traffic. Don't leave early, there will be so much traffic.
How awkward. Business person just (I assume accidentally) ended the phone call with "I love you". And no, the business person wasn't me.
Wanted: podcast mediator, as @MolksTVTalk and I compare the Oz TV streaming services to the US services, side by side on the same lounge.
Would you prefer to go to a wedding on a Monday or a Thursday?
What kind of age are we living in when a prince can't have an orgy?
"pop up wedding" "poop up wedding"
one letter brings totally different search engine results
Waa-hay!
Waa-hay!
Is my petrol halal certified? Asking for a friend.
Christmas holiday fun game: step 1) rent white van. Step 2) park van on highway.
Waa-hay!
Is there an app that lets you know where speed cameras are? Not that I'm planning on speeding tonight, just asking for a friend ...
I don't want to take full responsibility for global warming but i just flushed the wrong urinal.
I always forget, which one is the crime, jernalizm or journalism, @PeterGreste?
Accidentally watch a a Nicholas Cage film last night. Glad 2014 is behind us.
My new year's resolution is CGA #nevergetsold