← 2015 January 2015

  • I got pulled over by a policewoman...

    When I put down my window to ask what was wrong, she said "NOTHING!"

  • Honestly, it's kind of fun getting a new govt every few months. It's like a mobile phone contract, you don't want the same mobile again!

  • I'm sitting on a balcony in Cabarita and I can hear screams of joy cry out across Hen and Chicken Bay through the final moments of #AUSvKOR

  • Waa-hay!

  • My evening in Sydney just opened up - anything exciting happening in town?

  • It's 2015 right?

  • I can rent a hotel room online with a CC but @HotelRealm won't take a CC over the phone for a deposit when Britt's forgotten her CC?

  • Rather lazy and certainly overweight, he remarkedly paid his bills by simply talking #myozobituary

  • "Did you hear about that cat that came back to life after five days" an old man in Taree just told me #breakingnews

  • Hi Coffs Harbour

  • I think it's lovely that the @couriermail has put news reporting aside for a few days to transform into an LNP how-to-vote card #qldpol

  • We're finally at the end of the #Hottest100 where I recognise 1 in 3 songs

  • If the worst thing in your life today has something to do with Triple J or Taylor Swift then life's pretty awesome right?

  • If a brand can't back a song in the #Hottest100, does that mean if I write a post about liking a hipster song it gets excluded as well?

  • I need two witnesses to an elopement in Fortitude Valley right now, can you spare me a signature and 5 minutes?

  • I was just saying to someone the other day that Prince Phillip wasn't recognised for his efforts enough, that boy needs a Knighthood.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Really looking forward to Oz-Taylor! Day tomorrow #Tay4Hottest100

  • I'm pretty sure I just saw a @Qantas 727 landing into @BrisbaneAirport - I didn't think Qantas, or anyone, was flying B727s anymore.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Meta bumper sticker just seen in Brisbane: Campbell's a can't

  • Expedia, the recently new US owners of Wotif are firing 99% of their BNE-based workforce on Australia Day + increasing booking fee by $10

  • Have any Queensland candidates made policy promises about legislating for ride-sharing? #qldpol

  • Brisbane is: Saturday morning traffic jams. Thanks, Obama.

  • Subaru backwards is "ur a bus"

  • Waa-hay!

  • Waa-hay!

  • "Where does all the rain even go??" - Britt

  • Waa-hay!

  • My only employee is my wife.

  • Question for the accountants: I'm sleeping with my only employee, are there any capital gains things to worry about?

  • Waa-hay!

  • "You recently ordered some glitter for an enemy. Please note that there will be a bit of a delay as the site somehow got popular."

  • Have just been asked to do a wedding ceremony in a music festival!!!

  • If possible, close to Cabarita, but anywhere is awesome. Any recs?

  • I had a place but they're not available. Just somewhere for me to meet couples in Sydney.

  • I'm looking for a small meeting space, co-work pace w/ day rates, even just a cafe open into the evening that is meeting friendly in Sydney.

  • Decades from now, 2015 will be known as the year Taylor Swift divided a nation #Tay4Hottest100

  • It's my grandma's birthday in a few weeks and the big event is that she's coming out: she's telling all her friends that she's 80, not 75...

  • Have you been looking for wedding podcasts in all the wrong places? Check out @SaveTheDatePC!

  • Police threat level increases to high. Qld Police forced to wear political signs in sandwich board fashion for protection from budget cuts.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Homeward bound, see you in a week, Sydney!

  • Waa-hay!

  • "No matter how you used yesterday, you received 24 hours today." - An Unknown Author

  • Waa-hay!

  • First I saw @MolksTVTalk get a #Stan invite. Then I got one. Then @EvanD got one. Does everyone get one?

  • They've got it in for repairs overnight and now I'm out of touch and out of reach, so send my mail care of Bondi Beach!

  • I'm in Sydney and my iPhone died directly out the front of the George Street Apple Store.

  • BREAKING: Man handing out flyers in Pitt Street Mall has had his soul sucked out of him by the pure joy he receives from his employment.

  • I grew up wanting to "be on the radio" because I listened to Pauly, Mikey and The Sandman on @triplej every morning before school- HB folks!

  • Is it after the tennis yet?

  • Just watched #Interstellar on IMAX with @molkstvtalk ... just in awe

  • I love #UberX! It's like my non-English speaking mate picks me up from the airport and let's me control his Spotify.

  • #UberX is banned, or geoblocked from the airport.

  • I'd love to see how many passengers walk outside of @SydneyAirport to catch an #UberX, @Uber_Sydney? There's three of us at the moment.

  • Sydney bound!

  • Waa-hay!

  • I'd like to start a ska band, The Contending Bosstones.

  • I don't mean to boast but I just scheduled an 8am Saturday morning appointment. How's that, adult life?!

  • The Lego Movie WAS awesome, but an 83 minute ad shouldn't win an Oscar.

  • I think the thing everyone's missing here is that Shake It Off IS the actual hottest song of 2014 #ThisSickBeat #Tay4Hottest100

  • It's almost un-Australian to not vote for Tay at this point #Tay4Hottest100

  • Why can't it be taco Tuesday every night? Asking for a friend.

  • I need a street address in the Sydney CBD, preferably for a public business, to receive a single letter to - anyone?

  • #Tay4Hottest100 #neverforget

  • Waa-hay!

  • Thanks to @swoodgate I now know that I can be Googled at "psychotic celebrant Brisbane"

  • I love emptying kitty litter #affirmations #positivity #icandoit

  • I just saw a post from @Wil_Anderson on Facebook and realised that it's this weekend that @MolksTVTalk & I do Sydney. Woohoo!

  • Email from a couple "did not find you by googling 'hipster celebrant'....googled 'not old celebrant' haha"

  • How else will this cruel world deceive me?

  • Come on Eileen plays on Spotify and you're home alone. Kevin McCallister has nothing on me.

  • Waa-hay!

  • .@TwitterAU you know that's the ugliest way of tweeting right? Surely we could find a prettier way of doing this?

  • I've just realised that I've finished work in Brisbane too late and if I leave now I'm just going to sit in traffic. Sigh.

  • The first thing I'm going to ask Jesus is 'who is Ed Sheeran's song, Don't, about?'

  • Optus: behind the times.

  • There's a blog post on the way telling you why Valentine's Day is the best day to get married, not the cheesiest!

  • Want to get married on Valentine's Day? Today's your last chance to give one month's notice.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Mind you, it's nothing compared to the 33,067 emails that you guys sent me ...

  • My IT guys just told me that I sent 8,498 emails last year. Sorry 'bout that.

  • Remember when we used to order letterheads. Now we order a domain name.

  • People sometimes mistake me for a wedding celebrant. I'm actually just a professional email inbox emptier.

  • Do you ever think that @1200Techniques has lost faith in karma after no one wrote a song about their karma?

  • I probably tweet more than the average nerd. I think most tweets go unread and unnoticed. I tweet one inaccurate thing about the NBN, boom.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Bought a misspelled domain name last night, @hover probably needs to install a breathalyser.

  • Is there a 1800 number you call if you se someone using iOS 6?

  • Can you help me brainstorm a podcast name? I want to create a show about using tech, gadgets, websites, apps, to help solo/small businesses.

  • Call out for audio engineers/producers looking for work, msg me.

  • If there happens to be anyone with a spare couple of minutes in Melbourne's Tullamarine airport around 10:40am tomorrow morning let me know?

  • ... so I'm never opening Messages on my iPhone again, sorry to anyone that ever messages me.

  • I don't know how your day is going but a client accidentally sent me a picture of his gear today ...

  • If your idea can be invalidated by a funny cartoon, your idea might need readjustment. Advice for entrepreneurs and terrorists.

  • I had no intention of any political campaigning #qldpol, but now I want to buy an 'I'm with stupid' shirt and go on #smurfwatch #FreeCanDo

  • I'm with stupid -> @Can_do_Campbell #FreeCanDo

  • Not sure how much I can say, but I know that this is not the last time everyone will hear from @Can_do_Campbell this #qldpol #FreeCanDo

  • OMG A MASSIVE COCONUT FELL AND ALMOST JUST KILLED ME. Tropical life is hard, yo #TheStruggleIsReal

  • Really looking forward to Channel 13 News' upcoming documentary on the human condition.

  • Can you buy @VirginAustralia lounge guest passes?

  • In other news, I'm three hours early for a flight.

  • Withers Law of Driving to @BrisbaneAirport from GC: leave early, there will be no traffic. Don't leave early, there will be so much traffic.

  • How awkward. Business person just (I assume accidentally) ended the phone call with "I love you". And no, the business person wasn't me.

  • Wanted: podcast mediator, as @MolksTVTalk and I compare the Oz TV streaming services to the US services, side by side on the same lounge.

  • Would you prefer to go to a wedding on a Monday or a Thursday?

  • What kind of age are we living in when a prince can't have an orgy?

  • "pop up wedding" "poop up wedding"

    one letter brings totally different search engine results

  • Waa-hay!

  • Waa-hay!

  • Is my petrol halal certified? Asking for a friend.

  • Christmas holiday fun game: step 1) rent white van. Step 2) park van on highway.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Is there an app that lets you know where speed cameras are? Not that I'm planning on speeding tonight, just asking for a friend ...

  • I don't want to take full responsibility for global warming but i just flushed the wrong urinal.

  • I always forget, which one is the crime, jernalizm or journalism, @PeterGreste?

  • Accidentally watch a a Nicholas Cage film last night. Glad 2014 is behind us.

  • My new year's resolution is CGA #nevergetsold