← 2015 May 2015

  • Brisbane ✈️ Sydney

  • So freaking nice to be back in Queensland ... if only for 20 hours.

  • Perth ✈️ Brisbane

  • Dear Internet, please help, I think "Muffin Like Our Coffee" is an awesome coffee shop name. Britt thinks it's stupid. Please comment.

  • I think it's safe to say we're not moving here soon lol.

  • Britt's read on Bunbury: it's a town full of adult stores, cash converters and real estate agents.

  • Spent today training 14 of Mandurah's finest celebrants!

  • Sitting down and watching #MarriedAtFirstSight in a resort in Mandurah with Britt for the first time. It's a great show!

  • Dear #Perth: a #Fremantle Japanese restaurant open tonight, go!

  • Lady in Fremantle store is excited about "getting home to watch 'The Dockers'".

    Britt asks her "is that that new reality TV show?"

  • Bali-Brisbane midnight to 6am this morning. Wedding today. Brisbane-Perth 5pm-11pm tonight. I'm so tired already.

  • Brisbane bound

  • "BTW, saw you on tv the other night…great work but your tie was a bit boring lol." - every single email this week

  • Want to watch me marry two strangers? Channel 9 tonight after 9:30pm #MarriedAtFirstSight has an encore screening!

  • Everyone's biggest #MarriedAtFirstSight complaint: "where's the bow tie?" It was waiting on the sidelines, just waiting for a chance 2 shine

  • Boycotting #MarriedAtFirstSight over #marriageequality is a flawed concept. Approach the subject with research, thought, and positive action

  • So boycott government ... or something smart like that xoxo

  • Dear Australia, neither @Channel9, #MarriedAtFirstSight, or Ai hold the power of #marriageequality in our hands. You do, when you vote.

  • Chatting to Ryan & Rosie on @hotfmwa this morning about #MarriedAtFirstSight

  • As beautiful as @facebook instant articles are, it's a death notice for not only the web, but the independent publisher.

  • Clare's freaking out, she doesn't have the right flowers, cuts to her groom, Lachlan "I just want a laidback girl" lol #MarriedAtFirstSight

  • Woah! You miss two eps of @atpfm and step back into a war of the sexes. I have a dream that one day penises and vaginas will hold hands.

  • Pistol and Boooooo!, am I right?

  • Any chance of a Perth audio hire person being on Twitter and helping me find a Sennheiser LSP-500 to hire in Perth?

  • Can someone please do a video mashup of Barnaby Joyce and Captain Jack Sparrow in a sword-fight please.

  • Breaking News: "Yeah, nah, well, ya know" says Senator Glenn Lazarus on the forming of his own political party.

  • "Marriage celibate"??!! Thanks @stuartlayt lol

  • Just searched the house for Britt's travel credit card. She has wayyyyy too many handbags. And one travel credit card.

  • "We knew you'd make us laugh and we don't want to cry!" Kaycee & Ben told me as we planned their Chur Burger alleyway wedding

  • "Guess it's time to open the old 'There's very little in the budget for families' MS Word template again" - family groups today

  • phone rings, I answer, silence for a moment, then an Indian accent begins speaking "Hello, am I talking to Mister Marriage?"

  • Why do people even use the #auspol hashtag? Like reasonable, intelligent Australians are thinking "I need to tweet with more fuckwits"

  • Booking form question: How did you find out about Josh? Booking form answer: You scared the shit out of me at a Lightspace wedding showcase.

  • I just unfollowed someone who had to Google how to eat lychees. Social media is a tough marketplace, yo.

  • He fired me once when I accidentally wiped his laptop ... but hired me back fortnight later :)

  • A bloody good guy but equally tough businessman.

  • Wow. Rhys Holleran has stood down as CEO of SCA. He's been leading the radio network, and it's earlier incarnations, for more than 24 years.

  • Elderly lady just called me "a gentleman and a scholar" and I've never felt greater pressure to go to university.

  • When I pass away I'm leaving my billions to a studio that will remake Batman vs. Superman, but they fall in love, just to troll homophobes.

  • Suncorp Stadium, the home of the last minute win

  • 137.82

  • With any luck I'll have one or two morals left for the back end of the year.

  • The irony of the morally controversial TV show I'm on airing while I'm on a moral-less holiday not boycotting Bali is not lost on me.

  • Breaking News: journalists hit the streets to find out just how beautiful the newborn Royal baby's name is.

  • 135.72

  • For $37 you can get lei'd on arrival at Honolulu International. Cheap lei.

  • 28 wedding ceremonies this month. Oh my lord. I think I need a nap.

  • Did you know that in a Melbourne school hall right now there is another big award night on with confiused sponsorship, the TV Week Loogies.

  • Floyd Mayweather remains unbeaten, a title most of his former girlfriends cannot lay claim to.

  • Crowd cheers for the homophobe, boos for the woman beater. Hard choice to make cheerers.

  • Don't you hate it when you're sitting there minding your own business and suddenly remember how much you don't care about the boxing.

  • Monorail is crawling back to the Oasis with lights off. Dodgy!

  • If you want to know what a celebrant's nightmares look like, last night I dreamt I was at a wedding and my pants were inside out.

  • If you want to try Uber out for the first time, here's $25 to spend tonight: use the promo code THANKSJOSH.

  • Two rich people expecting baby tease the peasants. Call the bully police asap!

  • Sometimes I look back over my typos and just cry, a little bit ...