← 2015September 2015

  • Status update: in regional Victoria and @Telstra's computers thought we needed new SIM cards. Was kind enough to deactivate old ones. 😳

  • Hello Geelong region

  • Tony Abbott slowly revealing that he secretly really looked up to Kevin Rudd the whole time #auspol

  • Breaking News: NASA finds water on Mars. Further exploration needed to determine if it is our desired Smart Waterβ„’ or just regular water.

  • No new features, it's just new.

  • Wouldn't that be an awesome Apple keynote in a few years, a Steve Jobs hologram announcing a new opportunity for you to spend money.

  • The iPhone 6s feature I'm most looking forward to is my continued slavery and devotion to the Apple machine.

  • I've got a problem.

    I need an emergency tailor somewhere between Logan & Toowoomba right now.

    Split pants, and I'm on my way to a wedding.

  • I just saw it's not a loan, but still, every second time I log on there's some product being advertised in there. Super annoying.

  • Perth Airport T4 is being evacuated right now. We were just about to check our bags in ... #Perth #perthairport

  • So I guess ad publishers and ad blockers now live in a never ending cat and mouse game.

  • Google's worked itself around @Ghostery through @marcoarment's Peace and @1BlockerApp

  • Perth bound on a Tiger

  • I'm flying Tiger tonight. Pray for me, or something.

  • All our friends are posting about The Bachelor while we're at home searching for B-grade crime shows on Hulu.

  • #iOS9 has wiped all of my @AppleMusic playlists πŸ˜•

  • Idea: Let's honour our former PM by rebranding the humble BBQ sausage on bread w/ onion, a Tony Abbott sausage, like the USA's Arnold Palmer

  • Bolt/Holt Rabbit/Abbott

    Done the Rabbit?

  • Tony Holt amirite? #libspill #auspol

  • 29th/39th lol

  • Tony Abbott is/was four days away from a $600k lifetime pension #libspill

  • I for one welcome our new twenty five megabits per second overlord #libspill

  • Where does everyone even meet if you're going to match into a party room together? Does everyone meet on the basketball courts? #libspill

  • Me to Britt: leadership spills are like my version of the VMAs. Britt: why aren't you talking about what colour ties everyone has them?

  • Our first wedding anniversary was interrupted by Tony Abbott winning the PM title. Our third is being interrupted by him trying to keep it.

  • Spend 5 minutes trying to find a live streaming link for the PM's #libspill then I remember that the black box on the wall probably has it.

  • Guys, get your shit together. Are we putting our speedos or our onions out for @TonyAbbottMHR?

  • RT: @nicshields: RT: @TonyAbbottMHR: Added "I Don't Like Mondays" by The Boomtown Rats to my ARghhhh Spill Playlist on Spotify.

  • Is good government starting or ending now? Asking for a friend.

  • Australia to get a new Minister for Women!

  • "It's pretty obvious that, well, sometimes shit happens, doesn't it?" Abbott said.

  • I'm Batprimeministerman.

  • It's like the IT engineers of the world have never seen an iPhone launch before.

  • Me: are there any @Telstra business centres open on a Saturday night? Them: let me check #lol

  • On the phone to @Telstra small business "the only place you can make an #iPhone6s pre-order is in a Telstra Business Centre"

  • Kim Kardashian: break the Internet. @tim_cook: #iPhone6s pre-orders begin this weekend.

  • "The only way we can get you home from our wedding is in a helicopter, is that ok?" Yes. Yes that's ok 😁

  • I wouldn't say I'm lactose intolerant, I'm just sick of lactose's shit.

  • Anyone else's @FeedBlitz emails from @thisissethsblog coming in as html in a plain text email?

  • "For all intensive purposes" - a senior defence force spokesperson I just heard on ABC radio 😐

  • Don't go, Jason Waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes you're used to #Beats1

  • Josh Withers' Resume

    1981-1997: thinking about crushing it 1998-2012: trying to crush it 2013-present: crushing it

  • Scientific study proves life really is better if you have a name like Jimmy Recard, is a headline I'm constantly waiting for.

  • The cutest part of cruise ship weddings is being there too early and just watching all of the staff couples come and get pics in the arbour.

  • Guys, if we keep on uncovering how dodgy 7/11 is you know that eventually this will mean our $1 coffees are like, $1.10, maybe even $1.30!

  • Dear @VirginAustralia and @Qantas, through your combined schedules & being on time I got to marry people in #BNE & #SYD this afternoon! #ty

  • Wearing a monocle and talking in a fancy accent was weird at first, but I'm growing to like it.

  • Because I'm on the last flight out of Syd tonight I've been kicked out of the commoners' Qantas Club and moved into the Business Qantas Club

  • Today I had a midday wedding in Brisbane, and now a 4:30pm wedding in Sydney, 23 minutes of margin to allow for error & I'm on time #miracle

  • Sydney tweeps: I fly into #SYD at 3:30, what's the quickest way to get to Lavender Bay (next to Luna Park)? Uber, taxi, train, run?

  • Take the night off, posties, you deserve it // @auspost

  • A notification saying that @auspost has just followed me on @Twitter on a Saturday night says I'm not the only one working hard here.

  • Mere days away from a new iPhone and I've actually lived out a two year @Telstra contract. A lifetime first for Josh. Is there a medal?

  • Actually I missed about 300km in NSW from that math.

  • 4063 kilometres: how far I'm travelling to make 9 husbands and 9 wives this weekend (between now and Tuesday night)

  • The hardest thing about Avril & Chad breaking up would be that moment you have to Google "breakup songs not by nickelback or avril lavigne"

  • Is Dutton worried that a govt could be taken down by journalism? Or that the weak link in our democracy is the voters finding out stuff?