← 2016April 2016

  • Most awkward coffee a man's ever drunk.

  • Awkward cafe would rather give me a free coffee than let me pay for it because they have an EFTPOS minimum.

  • Qld govt has given me a word document "template" that opens terrible, what do you think would be the best way to Mac'ify it?

  • Apple's just breathed 8 gigabytes of air into the MacBook Air ... hurry and die now won't you little MacBook Air

  • My subconscious even invented an arguably great line: "marriage is like a podcast, everyone has one" @marcoarment @tiffanyarment

  • I just dreamt that I was the marriage officiant for @marcoarment & @tiffanyarment's wedding. Dreams are so weird.

  • Over the loudspeaker as I board a cruise ship this morning: "on offer today is the Titanic experience" 🛳

  • Prediction: the next "iMac" won't be called an iMac, it will simply be called "Mac". There will be the Mac, Mac Pro, MacBook, MacBook Pro

  • Why is no-one working on driverless motorbikes? #ideasboom

  • Though it really does leave me confused where they would even get fake Koalas from?

  • Please note that despite being called @KoalaMattress the mattresses are not actually made from real Koalas. I understand they use fake ones.

  • Regardless, Edwards now lives a happy life in Port Macquarie all because we bought a mattress. How 'bout that!

  • Our Koala is named Edwards Montana but I don't think that's real name because it's quite an American name for an Australian animal.

  • The whole mattress business is a scam all created by Big Mattress, who despite being evil, just want you to sleep more.

  • Especially considering the whole mattress selling/buying game is a rort and you can't find the same mattress model in two stores!

  • Britt and I bought a mattress online and a cranky looking man delivered it, but the mattress being quite fancy is what matters.

  • Sooo, there's no #UberX in #Adelaide?!?!

  • Ok, help me out with an idea I'm running with for this afternoon's ceremony: How is a marriage like a burger?

  • Ok, stay with me: UberX for singing telegrams.

  • Our German friend tells me that phrases like "Grammar Nazi" aren't cool in Germany. I told him to stop being such a Nazi Nazi.

  • Crazy weekend begins now: GC 🛫 Coogee 🚗 Hunter Valley 🏎 Sydney ✈️ Adelaide 🛩 GC. The coffee better be hot, @Qantas

  • If you look really carefully and closely at tonight's #MarriedAtFirstSight you can see me totally not being involved in any which way.

  • You jump on local hashtags like a kid on a trampoline, especially if there's a touch of nostalgia. Everyone pass Go #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You drive through a toll, and pay the toll, but miss the next turn cause you're still bitching about it #bnemonopolychancecards

  • It's State of Origin time, everyone collects $200 #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You get to the airport without paying a toll, move directly to Go, collect $200 #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You tune in to @NewsTalk4BC and realise you're listening to @2GB873, miss a turn #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You climb the Story Bridge but then realise it's only the second best bridge climb in Australia, miss a turn #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You caught a hovercraft to Expo 88, win $1000 #bnemonopolychancecards

  • You order a coffee and the cafe does have syrups for your Caramel Latte, win $5 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You win a holiday on XXXX Island, win $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • No-one on your CityCat takes a selfie, win $1000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You use CityCycle, win $10 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You call an Uber but Qld Transport questions you. You lie, telling the inspector that Umad is a mate, win $100 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You catch QF16 back from LAX and it's not delayed, you win $100 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • it's NRL Grand Final time and you can support any team based in Queensland, pass go, collect $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You see a cool food idea in NYC and open a restaurant in Brisbane, lose $2000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You manage to get yourself in the background of a @sunriseon7 live cross from Kangaroo Point, win $50 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You survive a whole summer without calling your home insurer, win $1000 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You hear a suburb pronounced correctly by a Sydney announcer on @NewsTalk4BC, win $200 #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • You walk through the Valley after dark and survive. You get to keep on playing. #BneMonopolyChanceCards

  • Everything good in the world is happening on #BneMonopolyChanceCards right now

  • Apple Store staff just called the new iPad Pro 9.7" the "iPad 7" ... that's not a thing is it?

  • Won't someone think of Christians? #QandA

  • In 1961 the marriage law had already moved away from church view, the only remaining element is the gender thing #QandA

  • Watching a early-twenties girl take her Mercedes through the service station carwash. Dad would be so proud.

  • Yes, it's 1996 in Queensland, and we like it that way.

  • NSW and Vic: Don't forget to set your clocks back one hour and 20yrs when you go to sleep tonight so you come back to join us on Qld time.