← 2020 June 2020

  • Apple’s Beats 1 radio station launched five years ago today

  • In case anyone asks, I'm listing all of you as deductions on my tax return this year.

    It said I can claim any tools I need in my life to do my job.

  • Name a better Wiggles song than The Wonder Of Wiggle Town.

    I’ll wait.

  • I feel like I’m going through a break-up with the best-laid plans of mice and men.

  • Hello? Is that the police? I’d like to report a group of people youthing outside my home. It’s past my bedtime and they’re just out there being youth.

  • If it’s good enough for the finance bros, it’s good enough for me, I’m starting a new year on July 1.

    Maybe that will help my mental health?

  • Just remember guys, we're all in this together, except Victoria.

  • Not many people know this about me, but I’m not an astronaut.

  • ‪An email from @Walgreens and @Channel9 about an @abcnews report on @BillGates and @richardbranson investing in #Bitcoin was plausible until I realised the ABC can’t afford this kind of investigative journalism anymore #RefundTheABC‬

  • I hope there’s someone still employed in media to do one of those cool end of year wrap up videos to enjoy as we all drink ourselves into oblivion on the evening of December 31st, 2020.

  • I don’t talk about this much, but I used to be married to the idea of sleeping past 7am. Now that I’m a dad, and because Britt wanted us to be exclusive, we had to divorce, but I really do miss sleeping around 8am.

  • I think the girl walking ahead of me is in real trouble. It smells like she’s drowning. Drowning in perfume. She may be on the way to buy more perfume.

  • Nestle, why not just rename Chicos to ‘Small Dark Skinned Children Lollie That Has A Racist Undertone’.

  • Luna’s all about new apple products this week

  • Things you never think you'll say to your child: "Do you want to wear a hat while you do a poo?"

  • Full access?! Thanks, Emily

  • I feel like a lot of the opinion on lockdowns is coming from people who's businesses and incomes haven't actually really been affected.

  • When COVID-19 took the stage, the Australian government/s simply wanted to flatten the curve, so we shutdown society and put people out of work. Today the curve has flattened, they’re talking about waiting for a vaccine. Is anyone steering the ship? Where’s the leadership?

  • Some people think the Hackintosh is dead after today’s Apple announcement about moving to Apple Silicon.

    I think Hackintosh will just move to, are you sitting down? Apple Pi.

    Try the veal.

    #applepi #hackintosh #applesilicon

  • Luna & I are walking through a local shopping centre when she points at a girl & loudly proclaims “Mumma!”

    I look at the teenager & sincerely say “you are the chosen one!”

    This is the most fun you can have with a toddler and a terrified girl before the police get involved.

  • Has anyone considered how the Flight Centre captain is doing through all this?

  • With their tanks, and their bombs, and their guns, and their drones, in your head, in your head, they are dyin’

  • A cop keeping mandatory social distancing rules finds a house flouting the law.

  • Melbourne during COVID-19 or the Melbourne Zombie Shuffle?

  • Only Apple would, and could, run an advertisement encouraging me to watch a keynote presentation at 3am.

  • Remember that time that K-Pop Twitter and Alt TikTok worked together to make the President of the USA look like a fool?

  • If Donald Trump is campaining to make America great again, is that hinting that he didn’t succeed the first time round?

  • “From schools to workplaces, we are told that ordinary negative emotions and experiences—fear of failure, or sadness over a breakup, maybe—should be treated or eliminated. Feeling bad is bad.”

    A beautiful article on how it’s ok to feel down

  • You won’t see this covered by the mainstream media

    “Viewers are seduced by the promise of access to hidden knowledge, which will ensure that they alone know what’s really going on.”

  • Day one running Windows 10 on a 16

  • Turns out I'm a rockstar. I just started riffing on a song about puppies today, the lyrics simply being the word "puppies" repeated over and over and Luna danced along. Please contact Britt for any gig opportunities or interviews.

  • Audio tweets you say. It's almost like this isn't the first time that Twitter has had that Odeo'ea.

  • Amish on holiday

  • I don't want to be 'that COVID-19 guy', but ...

  • This is amazing, someone has recreated online one of my favourite things to do, drive through cities listening to the local radio

  • People: Mainstream media . Also People: wouldn’t subscribe to any media ever

  • I’m pretty chuffed today. My first commissioned photo was accepted and invoiced today. You’ll see it in the Reece Bathroom Life Showroom in St Leonard’s in Sydney real soon!

  • Ahhh they took my frickin kidney

  • Proud to announce my campaign to run as President of Australia. My whole message is “that COVID lockdown was a bit much, right?”

  • I was never prepared to love her this much

  • Is there an iOS app that looks up telephone numbers through the CallKit Call Directory app extension in a CSV or spreadsheet or something super simple? I’d like to know the name of the caller if they’re in that list, but not enter them in my address book.

  • You’re going to need to secure your lightbulbs

  • She loves a book 📚📷

  • If you’re interested in 1) 2020; 2) financial things; 3) Hertz Car Rentals; and 4) how batshit crazy the world is today; then you’ll enjoy this read.

  • As a husband to a wife, let me give you some advice:

    Don’t let your wife develop a rug dependency. It’s an expensive habit that eventually floors you.

    Rugs, not even once.

  • Black mould is really fighting to win the war on fear against COVID-19

  • Super proud of Britt for launching The Modern Studio with our friend Harley. A fresh take on the photography studio concept.

  • A rare photo of a pilot and her aircraft preparing for travel In the COVID-19 era

  • Dun dun

  • If you’re missing the luxury of flying economy and inflight meals ...

  • “It had become their daily ritual to check out the shelves of the store for life’s essentials.” – Stripped Bare, by Mark Rutherford

  • ‪Business idea: what if we paid for people to follow politicians and leaders around and hold them to account for their words, and then the reports of these accounts were given to those of us paying for it, and we then made leadership decisions based on the reports?‬

  • Photo that I love, and Britt hates, from the new Photoshop Camera iOS app.

  • I can (not at all) guarantee all terrorism would be eradicated within a year if the punishment for terrorism was being forced to move house consistently for the rest of your life.

  • ‪I could never in a million years have predicted CrossFit and JK Rowling being cancelled in the same week.‬

  • The Withers’ are moving to Palm Beach

  • When’s the right time to start talking to my toddler about body-shaming dachshund’s by pointing at them and calling them bubbas when we stroll past?

  • Isn’t it weird how we went grom learning how to cook sourdough bread to learning how to dismantle systemic racism so quickly.

  • I’ve got $10 that says Howard Stern signs with an Internet-based company by December 31.

    And a bonus bet on that company being Spotify.

  • There’s a virtual wedding fair coming up soon, and I had to record a video for it. I feel like Luna’s really starting to pay her way with this debut.

  • Happy Queensland Day // June 6, 1863, is the day that Queensland separated from New South Wales. We’re celebrating today by not letting any Rona-Carryin’ New South Welshmen in.

  • Coolangatta in 30 seconds

  • Focus has left the building

  • Dear Jesus/Adobe, how much memory and cpu is enough for you to liberate my people?

  • Someone: Racism isn't an issue. CNN: Get Big Bird on the phone.

  • Ok, so Russell Brand can travel to Erinsborough for a chat with Toadie but I can’t dine in at a restaurant without booking in six years in advance. Who thought Neighbours would be the TV show to drive Australia to riot in the streets.

  • This is devastating news for Brisbane and Perth alike

  • Australia’s Media Has To Share The Blame For Our Racist Culture

  • ‪Wow.‬

    ‪I’ve just walked out of my apartment and there’s a whole archive of personal data just leaked onto our letterboxes.‬

    ‪Who’s going to answer for this information breach?‬

  • It'd be really nice if the solution to hundreds of years of racism, and the dismantling of system that gives people like me boatloads of privilege, could be nicely packaged for me in some kind of online store, maybe even with some bonus frequent flyer points, please.

  • Walking away from the playground with a screaming baby I tell the other parents, “it’s my first kidnapping, how do you get them to stop crying” so look out for my photo on the news.

  • Well before John Goodman screamed “you are wasting your time with this garbage” to Macaulay Culkin, and ever since, humanity has been struggling with black or white. Maybe this week we can start ending that struggle.

  • I saw an old friend's name in my address book and looked him up on Facebook. He shares an account with his now wife. Rest in peace old pal.

  • If you've ever wondered what an awkward phone call would sound like

  • Wouldn't it be weird if Washington DC protestors drained the swamp.

  • Censorship and freedom of speech