← 2022 May 2022

  • “So what’s the Original Sin of the Internet? Nearly all business models it supports require spying on consumers and monetising them.”

    — Bob Sullivan

  • Say what you will about brand activations and capitalism ruining the world, I am 100% here for the Bondi Bigfoot and whatever has happened to The Sydney Morning Herald/The Hawkins Post this morning.

  • Norman Greenbaum's Spirit in the Sky but it's about coffee.

  • "Lust for the future, treasure the past."

    — Jimmy Buffett

  • Went to Sydney for 10 hours today and tried to go to Luna park which could honestly do some yard work.

  • Sydney today

  • Is it tho?

  • Simulating your life's finances like a computer game is depressing

  • A cyber security article published twenty years ago.

    Envisioning a Cyber "Center for Disease Control"

  • Was blessed to actually see colour in the sky this afternoon. Had to ask Google whether colour in the sky was a shepherd’s delight or not.

  • Anyone who isn't embarrassed by who they were last year isn't learning enough

  • He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers

  • Yes, I do want to report the problem now. Boots and swimmers is illegal I think.

  • Apple has rebranded "Apple Pay Cash" to "Apple Cash" and launched new splash pages for the service, along with new pages for Apple Wallet and Apple Pay. Is the money transfer amongst iMessage users launching globally this WWDC?

  • I think about this daily. It really challenges my default setting of hitting life like a to-do list:

    “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”

    — Dutch Theosophist Jacobus Johannes van der Leeuw

  • Anyone else just really want to see Louis Theorux’s Fiat?

  • Well, I'm so glad that we got the correct result with the election and all of our problems are solved and we can all just share cat videos online for the next three years, no more angry tweets right?

  • The “day after a federal election” vibes

  • I, for one, welcome our new DJ overlord.

  • If I am elected President of Australia tonight, in my first 100 days I will bring back the stirring spoon to McDonalds McFlurries. I will make McFlurries flurried again.

  • Luna was really upset. She thought we were going on a boat when I said that we were going to vote. Teach your kids the difference between floating on water and enacting change.

  • Name a better collab, I’ll wait

  • As someone who attends weddings professionally, I find it amazing that in 'woke 2022 where we've #metoo'd, we're feminists, living in a diverse community with global internet access, that Millenials are getting married & half the weddings I arrive at are culturally 1960s themed.

  • I just realised I slid into my 14th year as a marriage celebrant over the weekend. Three years ago the Gold Coast Bulletin did a piece on me about how I'm not a terrible human or celebrant, so if you want affirmations in that arena, I definitely recommend reading this.

  • "Leaving everything up to the publishing industry is not the best way to run a culture."

    – Brewster Kahle

  • “It is far easier to critique than to create”

    – Laurence Endersen

  • Grandpa

  • I think it’s beautiful that guys with crazy eyes who only wear gym shorts find love.

  • Who had Louis Theroux being the most popular rapper of 2022 on their 2022 bingo card?

  • I, for one, welcome our new sunny and shining overlord

  • David Thorne was doing NFTs well before everyone else

  • One of the best things about the internet is how you are distincitly awards how few people are listening to you.

    For a decade I worked in an industry where we broadcast from soundproof rooms playing music and talking excitedly under the guise of everyone listening to us.

    Here on the internet we have verifiable proof that most people aren’t listening.

    So if you feel alone here, you’re not. But then you weirdly, kind of, really are.

  • Rest In Peace, still images on Instagram

  • When a wedding vendor emails you prices and you don’t reply

  • Talking to a celebrant friend this morning and they have a funeral this afternoon where there's only one family member attending because the deceased pissed off everyone she ever knew.

    The celebrant has a reading that's "good for people who pissed everyone off."

  • Apple Photos’ memories feature can detect when I’m at a Foo Fighters concert but categorises the photos from the hospital at Southport where both our daughters first appear in the library as “Southport over the years”.

  • As an Australian who consumes far too much American content in the form of podcasts and emails, let me echo Douglas Adams:

    "American audiences do not need to feel disturbed by the notion that places do exist outside the US"

  • When I'm not marrying people, or shitposting on social, I write a weekly email for the southern end of the Gold Coast called The Tugun Pause. In [today's issue I wonder if a monorail would be better than the light rail everyone takes issue with](Do you think a monorail would be better than light rail? https://www.tugunpause.com/p/its-a-bit-wet-innit?s=w).

  • Whenever I hear people talk about the Christian/Catholic vote I always wonder why it has nothing to do with Matthew 25.

    I reckon if Jesus was a registered Australian voter today he’d probably vote the Greens first based on Matthew 25.

  • Staff member of the 24/7 convenience store next to nightclubs in Fortitude Valley tells me that the clothes and footwear are how they make bank. The drinks and food are for the daytime crowd.

  • Playing with motion in Fortitude Valley tonight

  • Filed under "odd anniversaries" today is the 13th anniversary of the first time I saw a Newton in real life and also the Robina Apple Store opened.

  • It’s funny that the term “PC” aka personal computer has been essentially been burned describing Wintel computers when the truest and most-personal computers today do not run Windows nor do they run Intel chips.

  • 🦋

  • So, like, this wasn’t a thing before?

  • Currumbin

  • At first I was stridently against the idea of combining a hen’s party and a marriage ceremony, but honestly, it worked out fine. A++ would recommend.

    Elyse & Jon #marriedbyjosh in Byron Bay.

  • OOL

  • “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

    – Rainer Maria Rilke

  • Moon. No editing or filtering. Just the boring old moon standing there looking glorious tonight. As seen from Byron Bay.

  • A new issue of the Tugun Pause is in inboxes with my proudest headline yet: 416 crimes and a beach ain't one.

  • A friend just reminded me of that time I was on Sunrise for a Star Wars wedding on ... May the fourth. God bless the internets, may you always archive my weird business endeavours.

  • Tintenbar garden

  • "Everyone has talent; what is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads."

    – Erica Jong

  • "To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favourite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave."

    – Kevin Kelly

  • I love a sunburnt country

  • SYD

  • Photography from space was an afterthought. Astronaut John Glenn bought a Minolta 35mm from a drugstore.

    “At the beginning of the space program hardly anyone thought of photographs from space as anything more than a branch of industrial photography.”

  • 329km driving. 807km flying. 11km hike. All to create a marriage ceremony on a Monday afternoon.

  • 12 French submarines < 255 French-ish aircraft

  • That’s not a Qantas flight … that’s a Qantas flight.

    An Airbus A350-1000 in Hangar 96, Sydney Airport, for the announcement of Project Sunrise.

  • That face when the situation is not escalating

  • Back at my Ryan Bingham impersonation this morning.

  • 🏖

  • Rich people need it. Poor people have it. If you eat it, you die. And when you die, you take it with you. What is it?