Bali-Brisbane midnight to 6am this morning. Wedding today. Brisbane-Perth 5pm-11pm tonight. I'm so tired already.

Brisbane bound

"BTW, saw you on tv the other night…great work but your tie was a bit boring lol." - every single email this week

Want to watch me marry two strangers? Channel 9 tonight after 9:30pm #MarriedAtFirstSight has an encore screening!

Everyone's biggest #MarriedAtFirstSight complaint: "where's the bow tie?" It was waiting on the sidelines, just waiting for a chance 2 shine

Boycotting #MarriedAtFirstSight over #marriageequality is a flawed concept. Approach the subject with research, thought, and positive action

So boycott government ... or something smart like that xoxo

Dear Australia, neither @Channel9, #MarriedAtFirstSight, or Ai hold the power of #marriageequality in our hands. You do, when you vote.

Chatting to Ryan & Rosie on @hotfmwa this morning about #MarriedAtFirstSight

As beautiful as @facebook instant articles are, it's a death notice for not only the web, but the independent publisher.

Clare's freaking out, she doesn't have the right flowers, cuts to her groom, Lachlan "I just want a laidback girl" lol #MarriedAtFirstSight

Woah! You miss two eps of @atpfm and step back into a war of the sexes. I have a dream that one day penises and vaginas will hold hands.

Pistol and Boooooo!, am I right?

Any chance of a Perth audio hire person being on Twitter and helping me find a Sennheiser LSP-500 to hire in Perth?

Can someone please do a video mashup of Barnaby Joyce and Captain Jack Sparrow in a sword-fight please.

Breaking News: "Yeah, nah, well, ya know" says Senator Glenn Lazarus on the forming of his own political party.

"Marriage celibate"??!! Thanks @stuartlayt lol

Just searched the house for Britt's travel credit card. She has wayyyyy too many handbags. And one travel credit card.

"We knew you'd make us laugh and we don't want to cry!" Kaycee & Ben told me as we planned their Chur Burger alleyway wedding

"Guess it's time to open the old 'There's very little in the budget for families' MS Word template again" - family groups today

phone rings, I answer, silence for a moment, then an Indian accent begins speaking "Hello, am I talking to Mister Marriage?"

Why do people even use the #auspol hashtag? Like reasonable, intelligent Australians are thinking "I need to tweet with more fuckwits"

Booking form question: How did you find out about Josh? Booking form answer: You scared the shit out of me at a Lightspace wedding showcase.

I just unfollowed someone who had to Google how to eat lychees. Social media is a tough marketplace, yo.

He fired me once when I accidentally wiped his laptop ... but hired me back fortnight later :)

A bloody good guy but equally tough businessman.

Wow. Rhys Holleran has stood down as CEO of SCA. He's been leading the radio network, and it's earlier incarnations, for more than 24 years.

Elderly lady just called me "a gentleman and a scholar" and I've never felt greater pressure to go to university.

When I pass away I'm leaving my billions to a studio that will remake Batman vs. Superman, but they fall in love, just to troll homophobes.

Suncorp Stadium, the home of the last minute win

137.82

With any luck I'll have one or two morals left for the back end of the year.

The irony of the morally controversial TV show I'm on airing while I'm on a moral-less holiday not boycotting Bali is not lost on me.

Breaking News: journalists hit the streets to find out just how beautiful the newborn Royal baby's name is.

135.72

For $37 you can get lei'd on arrival at Honolulu International. Cheap lei.

28 wedding ceremonies this month. Oh my lord. I think I need a nap.

Did you know that in a Melbourne school hall right now there is another big award night on with confiused sponsorship, the TV Week Loogies.

Floyd Mayweather remains unbeaten, a title most of his former girlfriends cannot lay claim to.

Crowd cheers for the homophobe, boos for the woman beater. Hard choice to make cheerers.

Don't you hate it when you're sitting there minding your own business and suddenly remember how much you don't care about the boxing.

Monorail is crawling back to the Oasis with lights off. Dodgy!

If you want to know what a celebrant's nightmares look like, last night I dreamt I was at a wedding and my pants were inside out.

If you want to try Uber out for the first time, here's $25 to spend tonight: use the promo code THANKSJOSH.

Two rich people expecting baby tease the peasants. Call the bully police asap!

Sometimes I look back over my typos and just cry, a little bit ...

A million trips in #UberX's first year in Brisbane. That's 2700+ trips each day. #IChooseUber

Almost 1M trips have been taken on #UberX in #Brisbane in the last year #Happy1stBirthdayUberX #Uber

We've got to deal with issues, not boycott.

We can't just boycott shit every time we emotionally react to something. There'll be no-one left in business eventually.