With ers Without You

I’ve been extraordinarily blessed to have so many phone calls, messages, offers of help regarding my recent post, I’m not ok.

I wanted to offer a few follow-up remarks:

1. Donations: Some of the world’s most generous people have made offers of finance to us. I won’t say no, that’s rude, but I also am not asking. We’re provided for today, and luckily we have things to sell.
2. Getting a new job: I have very mixed feelings about this. One one hand, I’m a really good celebrant, and people like what I create, and I’ve been blessed to create weddings around the globe, literally from Iceland to New Zealand and everywhere in between, and I really enjoy(ed) celebrancy before March 2020. On the other hand I have a responsibility to provide for myself and my family, and if one job isn’t available, get a new job. I’m honestly open to job offers for those who know my background and skills, the problem is that I have a large backlog of weddings and elopements that have to get done some day, and that would seemingly be a large burden to a new employer, to have me having random days off.
3. My mental health: I think I’m ok mostly in that regard. I know that the last 17 months have been traumatic and left me scarred, but I’m not sitting here thinking bad thoughts. That said, I could do with seeing someone, I just don’t want to see the kind of psychologists I’ve seen in the past who seem quite clinical and have great breathing techniques - they’re fine - but I know how to breath now. I don’t know who I need to see, or if I can afford that, but if you know, let me know.
4. Gratitude: A former colleague from when I was on breakfast radio, was kind enough and generous enough to lend me his ear over the phone recently, but he had a hidden and kind motive, to introduce me to The Resilience Project, so I’m working my way through that idea and working on a gratitude journal, and trying to get into that headspace. It’s not natural to me, but I’m getting there. Thanks Mat, you’ve always been so good to me.
5. Further gratitude: As I’ve mentioned, so many have been kind enough to share, comment, tweet, message, DM, email me. You guys are the real MVP. I wanted to share for the same reason Britt and I shared we were pregnant with Goldie before the “time” you’re supposed to tell everyone. When we lost our first baby we told everyone a few days before we found out that the pregnancy wasn’t continuing. That sucked, but it was the best situation, because our friends and family were on the journey with us. Thank you for being on the journey with us. I don’t share for pity or to ask for donations. I share because we’re all in this together, warts and all.

TL;DR:

I’m ok, but not ok, and I’d like new work, but it’s complicated, and I have skills. I should talk to someone, but I talked to Mat, and I’m grateful. Thank you.

I see so many of my friends, and randoms I follow on the Internet, talking about lockdown and Covid has affected them.

Stories of woe like having to takeaway instead of dine-in, holidaying in Australia instead of overseas, and some people have even been forced to share their home and their office with partners and children. Horrible stuff. And maybe for some of the unlucky ones you’ve had hours cut and some have lost jobs. It’s a tough time for all.

The average Australian online complains about things I could dream of. How I would love to just go to work today.

Over here in wedding-world, things are not looking good. The whole industry, all of us, are barely alive.

Due to the nature of the wedding industry, payment is made before the wedding, often more than a month before, sometimes many months. Which was lovely for a period there, because although we couldn’t work, at least we had money. JobKeeper brought some relief early on as well, though with mixed results, also JobKeeper wasn’t built for an industry that is in perpetual postponement. See how it ended in March?

That’s the issue with weddings compared to the entertainment and hospitality industry. Weddings are planned well in advance with very particular attendees coming from across the globe, and they are extremely intimate and personal events deeply shrouded in emotion and feeling.

You might be upset to not see a comedy or music show, but when your wedding is postponed for the second and third time you start to wonder whether the coronavirus is actually reading your wedding invitations.

Here in August 2021 I’m seeing 90% of the next three months of work being postponed to next year, and I’m getting calls from couples well into next year asking if they can postpone later. Most of these couples are on their third, fourth, and for at least one, their sixth wedding plan.

Most paid me a year or more ago. Some are just calling quits on the whole thing, demanding a refund - that I can’t afford to give - so they’re taking me to court. I’ve had over $90,000 of cancelled work across our two brands tht my wife and I manage.

The extra vector of pain for us is that for the last decade we’ve been stupid enough to build an international and interstate brand. Most of my work, almost all of my work in 2019 and 2020, was a flight away. So in rescheduling we need the couple, myself, their guests, and the state government’s to all co-ordinate. Hell.

Plus no-one in their right mind is booking a wedding today. I wouldn’t. With rolling lockdowns being announced with six hours notice on a Saturday (thanks Queensland, you lovely asses), there’s no way in hell I’d be planning to host a wedding today.

And the beautiful thing is that I can’t even take a new job today because the couples who have already contracted me for their wedding or elopement expect me to turn up next week - unless they postpone because then they expect me to turn up next year.

So what do we do?

I’m studying a Certificate IV in Real Estate so I can take a new job if there is one, we’re selling our investments, and depleting our savings. We apply for the $750 Covid disaster payment and wait for any other assistance my 24 years of taxation might be able to provide.

I guess the only main takeaway you should have is that if you’re getting married in the next few years, expect to be surprised at the cost - you’ll be paying for the covid-injuries the industry sustained.

And when events are back on, go support the legends in the arts and entertainment industries, they’re hurting like the wedding industry is.

I’ve published a follow-up here.