Hi! My name is Josh and this is my blog. I used to share on social media but decided that my fragility was too valuable to subject to algorithims and assholes.

  • It just occurred to me that I could personally profit off the Victorian lockdown, so here goes.

    Please buy our beachside Gold Coast apartment at a good price, if it helps, we’ll call it CelebrantKeeper, now that JobKeeper is over but the lockdowns and travel restrictions aren’t.

  • Instead of calling it “the jab” what if they called it a “dad joke”? That way everyone would get it?

  • Police are now targeting people who lose all sense of time whilst ordering at a cafe and feel the need to share long stories with the uninterested barista.

  • If you’re curious how commissions and incentives shape the technology retail sector, JB HiFi at Robina doesn’t stock Apple TV units on the shelves, they’re “out the back”, because Apple’s sales incentives are less than all the other boxes which I guess make coin on tracking?

  • ”Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing someone to change their tribe. If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too. You have to give them somewhere to go. Nobody wants their worldview torn apart if loneliness is the outcome."

    – James Clear

  • Revved up like a deuce, another roller in the night

  • Strangers really underestimate how much I want to receive a phone call.

  • The humble Australian ritual of gender reveal via a burnout.

    "The driver burned out on a secluded road on the Gold Coast. As the drone flies upwards, the car continues its burnout until it turns sideways. Then a lot of things go sideways.

    – Drone DJ

  • Photographing a blood red supermoon, a lunar eclipse, is seemingly outside of my skillset. I made many photos and all were degrees of terrible, these two - one shot on my 25mm and the other on my 70-180mm lens - are the ones I hate the least.

  • Life is so busy, complex, and tiring right now, that the US government has confirmed that UFOs are a thing and everyone that finds out just shrugs and moves on.

  • Did you know there’s no wombat emoji? I’m calling the president.

  • Three fun wedding facts you probably didn't know:

    1. I'm a pretty awesome wedding celebrant
    2. I could be your wedding celebrant
    3. why are you still reading this instead of emailing hello@joshwithers.com.au

  • Moses?

  • Sk8r grrl carving up the skate park

  • My top three favourite songs about meeting your newborn child:

    1. With Arms Wide Open - Creed
    2. Closing Time - Semisonic
    3. Think About Things - Daði Freyr

  • I just watched a retail worker wash her plastic gloved hands with hand sanitiser. Curve flattened!

  • TF when you think someone is going to steal your stick

  • The kind of rainbow that would make YouTube’s Hungrybear9562 weep with joy, a double rainbow.

  • Pot of coffee at Highline Palm Beach at the end of the rainbow

  • For the first time in many years I took what I thought was common advice and wisdom and I've started using Mail.app on MacOS (Big Sur on Apple Silicon MBA). Three email accounts, one with 170,000 odd emails, another with 40,000 odd, and another with about 1000 emails. Mail.app is barely useable, so slow and it takes minutes to refresh when I change mailbox. Is this just Mail.app now or am I doing it wrong? Googling isn't helping as there are so many bland articles on speeding up Mail.app. I've rebuilt the mailboxes, and I've even done the deleting index thing. Any ideas?

  • Your stripper name is the first 16 digits of your credit card number, then the month the card expires, and then the year, and then the three digits on the back lol.

  • Australia's Department of Defence: Defence announces Space Division

    Australia: please let it be ARSE

  • We decided to sell our Covid-escape-beach-unit in Palm Beach on the Gold Coast. If you’re currently looking to escape to a beachside apartment, I highly recommend it.

  • Why is it called a wedding tax when wedding vendors decide to not undercut each other, and instead focus on being profitable and sustainable?

  • Why are people in small businesses so afraid of making an profit, having a day off or even a holiday? Why is sustainability and profit demonised in our society?

  • Wedding planning pro tip: Choose a wedding vendor team, then a date, instead of spending your whole life trying to find a team available on your date.

  • If you inserted a MYST CD-ROM into your computer sometime in the early 90's and found yourself entrenched in the wonder that was MYST, then this Soundcloud is going to do something to your nostalgia.

  • John Mulaney getting getting divorced is the kind of celebrity news that makes me want to take the week off and empty some ice cream tubs whilst crying.

  • 📷 Friday sunrise on the #GoldCoast

  • Hanging with useless nipples Withers.

    Captioned by her mother who is 20 minutes away.

  • View out my window right now

  • Bitey McBiteFace

  • "The big money is made not by exposing the truth but by papering it over or concealing it."

    – NewRepublic

  • Hey, bye @heyhey

  • Don't forget that we're all competing in a game where if we hit the right keys on the keyboard in the right order at the right time we win money and get donuts.

  • The worst thing about having an AirTag in your luggage is that instead of guessing that your luggage is about to come out, it removes any doubt that it isn’t.

  • Burleigh Heads on a Monday morning

  • If you’ve ever wondered how weird you are, if you don’t eat the deceased at their own funeral, you’re not that weird.

    “In many villages, when a person died, they would be cooked and consumed. It was an act of love and grief.”

    via NPR.

  • Who would’ve ever imagined that the BBQ-lovin Covid guy was actually trying to buy the whole chain of Barbecue’s Galore stores!?

  • Just say that after the traumatic 14 months behind us, we were considering selling everything and travelling Australia in a caravan with a toddler and newborn and you had prescient advice, what exactly would that advice be?

  • An old friend of mine from like 20 years ago has released an album and I found out because someone had a typo in their email address which landed the newsletter intended for Paul Withers' into my old Hotmail. Serendipity 2.0?

  • I’m dying of dystentery over this announcement.

  • Photos from inside my house identify as photos taken at houses down the street, from a GPS angle I understand this, but my iPhone knows my home address, and the wifi SSID I’m connected to overnight every night, surely we could bring that data together and say “if he’s on this wifi SSID, and GPS is weak or non-existent, maybe the actual photo and AirTag location is ‘home’”?

  • I am going to move my personal/non-wedding email account away from Hey. I don’t want to go back to GMail for privacy reasons, no to Outlook because of UX, and I don’t want to go back to Fastmail because it feels like the 90s over there. Any recommendations?

  • Sunrises at airports are my theme of 2021

  • Melbourne weather: cloudy with a chance of Josh.

  • If you’re curious about AirTag use through a flight whilst on inflight wifi, Find My believes that Qantas dropped my luggage from a great height somewhere over Armidale.

  • Someone’s been to the salon

  • Cows on buns

  • Yarra.

    The valley, not the river.