🐨 For once, the sign didn’t lie

Something not quite right?

I want the photographer that does the McDonalds menu photos to do my headshots.

Not many people know this, but Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know was actually written about Melbourne and I through 2020.

let’s fly jetstar tonight

After our year of “travelling” we’ve got our keys back. We’re going home!

Hey world, why are we giving kids middle names if every time - as a marriage celebrant - I ask one of my couples for the full name of someone, they don't think the middle name is part of the full name?

You might be surprised to find out that Harry & Meghan are not the first people to get married before they got married.

I’ve married so many people who have wanted to take back their getting married moment from their family, then gone along with the family wedding weeks/months later just to keep everyone happy.

Kind of sad that family would impose so heavily, in my humble opinion.

"My interactions with Bartercard (Qoin) have not raised any red-flags, and as a blockchain tech enthusiast I appreciate its efforts to onboard many non-crypto users.

James Zaki on Qoin

"We just wanted to get on Zoom with you to make sure you're as much of a smart ass as you look like on social media"

I book the nicest couples!

Luna is a really coming around to this big sister vibe

First films

I for one am shocked to find out that the Colonialist White British Empire’s Royal Family is racist.

Social media is evolving

If you complain that you phone is listening to you, but use Google Chrome as your web browser, you're a hypocrite - quite possibly innocently - but Google Chrome is becoming the least private web browser, despite already being terrible.

🌞

When Luna met Gracie

🌙

Funny looking Old Gum Tree there m8

I just picked Luna up from her trying to play with some rude kids who didn’t want to play with her, so in front of the kids and their yucky mother told her that “we don’t have to play with yucky kids.”

Parenting has really brought out my inner bitch.

What’s with midwives not going all the way and becoming full wives? Asking for a friend.

Luna, we’re taking a photo for mummy, just hold on for a second

I’m at the markets talking to a friend and Luna walks off, treks across the whole market, to go to the stall she knows has watermelon. She gets a basket, puts a watermelon in it, and a carrot, and goes to the cashier.

I think she’s ready to leave home.

I love how Mentos stubbornly believes that people at service stations know what “Chewy Dragees” are.

I know that worrying works because nothing I’ve ever worried about has happened

Saturday morning, February 27, 2021. Baby still going through customs.

Sounds like a Pearl Jam song

I would like to make a public statement regarding the most recent episode, number 175, of the Wedding Photo Hangover podcast.

If you listen to that podcast you may hear me say stupid and offensive things. Alas, that was not me. My voice was hacked. I was just dropping the kids off in the podcast. Jenny and I spoke last night and she said to me, you have to think about this as a Prime Minister, just say you were hacked.

This is a link to the episode I was in no way on - please do not listen.

Palm Beach Boardriders

The Gold Coast property market right now ...

Use Vegemite.

If domestic violence killed as many men as it does women, and if it the threat was higher to older people, would we fight domestic violence like we are fighting COVID?

Or would we just keep on letting women get burned alive in Queensland?

You know you’re reading an article not for you when the first interview question is answered by beginning with “we millionaires”.

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”

– Bryan White

Imagine having never heard Enter Sandman before ...

If your preferred mode of transport is your Facebook profile pic, I live for your Facebook comments, keep them coming.

This story is my favourite story of today, plus, the update makes it even better.

"I accidentally created an army of crow body guards. Am I liable if my murder attempts murder?”

Minutes before this screenshot I was on the front page of Hacker News, which is all a nerd honestly wants in his life.

I can die happy, affirmed by the nerd community now.

Sometimes when I want to feel fancy I imagine my car is a private jet, but for roads.

Just checking because I don’t want to screw up this vaccine thing: Are we all supposed to wear the green and gold for our vaccination selfies? Did ScoMo wear his under his formalwear? Did he change? What’s the protocol here?

“People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.”​

— Chuck Palahniuk

I’m titling this sad piece “July 2020, an infrequent flyer”

The Facebook news ban hammer fell on our training business a day after I posted an article on surviving a Facebook ban lol ... you're great Facebook, thanks m8

Australian news you can use