Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Channel 7 announces it’s glad that Pauline Hanson will be more available for Sunrise now that the Today Show has finally let go of her.

  • The border township of Albury–Wodonga is set to become the duelling towns of Albury versus Wodonga as the border closes tomorrow!

    I’ve got $10 on a Wodonga win, because they have zombies.

  • I've been pwned, and my password used to be becool88

  • America, just think of Kanye West as your rebound president. You don't need to love your next president, you just need to spend some time with someone else for a while so you can learn to love yourself.

  • I, for one, welcome our new Yeezy overlords.

  • How do you break it to your mother-in-law that you eloped in secret?

    I’ve got some ideas and they’re in this week’s Rebels’ Guide To Getting Married podcast. Search for ‘rebels guide’ in your podcast app, or find the links at therebels.guide.

  • If any out of state friends need to get into Queensland to watch an AFL match, or to witness affordable house prices, my cartel is taking expressions of interest in a tunnel.

    Apply within.

  • The year is 2020 and Victorians being smuggled into Queensland is a concern

  • A change of format to The Rebels Guide To Getting Married

  • "'Right,' she nods—because there really isn't a great way to try to respond to an older, popular male talk show host telling you that all men have sexual thoughts about underage girls." - Elle Magazine on Megan Fox

  • Because Victoria can't control it's Rona, Queensland, hilariously, is now the 'Home of the AFL'. As a proud Queenslander, let me join the statewide chorus of Go Lions!

  • Weren’t the eighties a different time. Could you imagine The J. Biebers Band releasing a song today about how Justin’s found his high school crush on the front page of Pornhub.

  • Having never attended an orgy, and not being educated on orgy culture, is The Beatles’ Come Together an anthem for orgies or is it too obvious an inclusion so dumped from the orgy playlist?

  • Nothing grounds you more than an email from a potential client apologising for a delay to an email because "this week is a chemo week"

  • Made the news today

  • Apple’s Beats 1 radio station launched five years ago today

  • In case anyone asks, I'm listing all of you as deductions on my tax return this year.

    It said I can claim any tools I need in my life to do my job.

  • Name a better Wiggles song than The Wonder Of Wiggle Town.

    I’ll wait.

  • I feel like I’m going through a break-up with the best-laid plans of mice and men.

  • Hello? Is that the police? I’d like to report a group of people youthing outside my home. It’s past my bedtime and they’re just out there being youth.

  • If it’s good enough for the finance bros, it’s good enough for me, I’m starting a new year on July 1.

    Maybe that will help my mental health?

  • Just remember guys, we're all in this together, except Victoria.

  • Not many people know this about me, but I’m not an astronaut.

  • ‪An email from @Walgreens and @Channel9 about an @abcnews report on @BillGates and @richardbranson investing in #Bitcoin was plausible until I realised the ABC can’t afford this kind of investigative journalism anymore #RefundTheABC‬

  • I hope there’s someone still employed in media to do one of those cool end of year wrap up videos to enjoy as we all drink ourselves into oblivion on the evening of December 31st, 2020.

  • I don’t talk about this much, but I used to be married to the idea of sleeping past 7am. Now that I’m a dad, and because Britt wanted us to be exclusive, we had to divorce, but I really do miss sleeping around 8am.

  • I think the girl walking ahead of me is in real trouble. It smells like she’s drowning. Drowning in perfume. She may be on the way to buy more perfume.

  • Nestle, why not just rename Chicos to ‘Small Dark Skinned Children Lollie That Has A Racist Undertone’.

  • Luna’s all about new apple products this week

  • Things you never think you'll say to your child: "Do you want to wear a hat while you do a poo?"

  • Full access?! Thanks, Emily

  • I feel like a lot of the opinion on lockdowns is coming from people who's businesses and incomes haven't actually really been affected.

  • When COVID-19 took the stage, the Australian government/s simply wanted to flatten the curve, so we shutdown society and put people out of work. Today the curve has flattened, they’re talking about waiting for a vaccine. Is anyone steering the ship? Where’s the leadership?

  • Some people think the Hackintosh is dead after today’s Apple announcement about moving to Apple Silicon.

    I think Hackintosh will just move to, are you sitting down? Apple Pi.

    Try the veal.

    #applepi #hackintosh #applesilicon

  • Luna & I are walking through a local shopping centre when she points at a girl & loudly proclaims “Mumma!”

    I look at the teenager & sincerely say “you are the chosen one!”

    This is the most fun you can have with a toddler and a terrified girl before the police get involved.

  • Has anyone considered how the Flight Centre captain is doing through all this?

  • With their tanks, and their bombs, and their guns, and their drones, in your head, in your head, they are dyin’

  • A cop keeping mandatory social distancing rules finds a house flouting the law.

  • Melbourne during COVID-19 or the Melbourne Zombie Shuffle?

  • Only Apple would, and could, run an advertisement encouraging me to watch a keynote presentation at 3am.

  • Remember that time that K-Pop Twitter and Alt TikTok worked together to make the President of the USA look like a fool?

  • If Donald Trump is campaining to make America great again, is that hinting that he didn’t succeed the first time round?

  • “From schools to workplaces, we are told that ordinary negative emotions and experiences—fear of failure, or sadness over a breakup, maybe—should be treated or eliminated. Feeling bad is bad.”

    A beautiful article on how it’s ok to feel down

  • You won’t see this covered by the mainstream media

    “Viewers are seduced by the promise of access to hidden knowledge, which will ensure that they alone know what’s really going on.”

  • Day one running Windows 10 on a 16

  • Turns out I'm a rockstar. I just started riffing on a song about puppies today, the lyrics simply being the word "puppies" repeated over and over and Luna danced along. Please contact Britt for any gig opportunities or interviews.

  • Audio tweets you say. It's almost like this isn't the first time that Twitter has had that Odeo'ea.

  • Amish on holiday

  • I don't want to be 'that COVID-19 guy', but ...

  • This is amazing, someone has recreated online one of my favourite things to do, drive through cities listening to the local radio