[caption id=“attachment_18” align=“aligncenter” width=“399” caption=“Reirement by the beach”]Reirement by the beach[/caption]

I was a little down today and was listening to Hillsong United on my iPhone and the song “Reason I Live” came on, instead of singing along as usual I listened instead.

They sing “Jesus You are the reason I live” and I thought about why I live, what purpose or hope am I straddling with all my might and power.

In the previous 26 years I’ve been alive I haven’t really been given any perplexing reason to continue on living this life I’ve been so generously given.

Friends, people, workmates come and go like the wind and family has a similar flow. I’m not working toward a financial or material prize that a mysterious person will present to me one day, nor do I know of an Eden like place where we get to go after we’ve worked hard enough.

Don’t confuse my rant today with an eternal existence in heaven, I’m talking about this life, not the next.

As far as I know there is no medal presentation and closing ceremony somewhere soon. All I see is hard work, heartbreak, anguish and pain ahead.

A drunkard I picked up last weekend told me of his plan to retire before he turns 40, but not even the prospect of laziness setting in earlier than normal is attractive to me.

Not even a lifetime of being on radio or servanthood at my church brings a glimmer of hope to me, it just makes me want for more coffee or maybe a chill pill. The ideal of marriage and children immediately sounds good but then it just seems to perpetrate the cycle only delaying the anguish unto my children.

There is an exception for me though.

Jesus.

Where friends, colleauges, employers, family, politicians, pastors, girls and guys fail, Jesus stands strong and bold, with a message, instruction and hope that rings true and holds to a purpose and hope that actually has roots in something bigger and better than a smalltown family or a relationship with another person.

Jesus lives today and he is the reason I live. Without Jesus you wouldn’t be reading this message today friend, because today I looked at my situation, my finances, my relationships, my responsibilities and I really didn’t think it was worth it.

But then Jesus gave me some perspective.

He tells me about running the race and fighting the good fight. He gives me a purpose in my family, a purpose in my relationships and a purpose in situations around me.

Jesus teaches me about the purpose and reason in friendships, relationships, girlfriends and wives, colleagues and employers, family and relatives. Of course with all of the love and conflict that comes with the above.

And out of that, I realize that suicide could be the most selfish thing a man could consider to do.

Now before you refer me to your favourite shrink (hopefully mine will still see me after this) would you do me a favour and consider what your reason for living is, and secondly would you consider making that reason Jesus.