Thespian - translated from the Greek “one who translates”, an actor or actress. I’ve made the miraculous jump from AM Radio personality to thespian in a matter of months of landing in Esperance, completely by chance. All I wanted to do was meet some more people, now I’m a superstar (sic).

So how did all this happen and where has it taken me? Cale Hill is the man to blame for all this, he suggested I audition for “A Christmas Carol” at the Bijou Theater, my only previous experience with the Bijou was months earlier when I was investigating this little town called Esperance before I moved here and I found a news article about McDonald’s wanting to open a restaurant in Esperance but the ’local theater’ was complaining about the noise that would come from it and possibly impede on a production there. I mocked them at the time … now I’m ’them'.

There’s a few things which I’m learning in the theater, here’s my list in case you fall into theater production anytime soon.

  • Apparently you don't say "good luck", instead you say "break a leg" ... I'm not comfortable with either so I say generic things like "go hard" and "give it 110%"
  • You can never be too quiet in the wings or backstage
  • If you're going to be late then be an hour or two late - that's way more fashionable than 15-45 minutes late
  • Learning your lines is useless ... performing them and understanding the story works for me
  • Never work with animals, children or chains
  • Bring lollies
  • Old ladies feel they have the authority to talk to you about an eating plan once they've seen you in a production
  • Older people will laugh at everything if you call it a pantomime
  • It's fully ok to be in your underwear in front of others backstage
  • It's fully not ok to be in your underwear in front of others on stage
  • People at shops don't understand why you're wearing makeup and buying fast food at the same time
  • Makeup is not emasculating, apparently it's "for the lights"
  • The smaller the number of directors the better
  • Saying the word prompt doesn't work in normal conversations with people, it only works when you're on stage and you've forgotten what to say next
  • Improvising is the fun part
  • Secret improvising is the funner part
  • The last night is when you can be naughty, but apparently not 'that' naughty ... but you can have fun with the scenes as long as the story still carries and the cues aren't missed. Apparently walking onto stage in your underwear is "too far"
  • Hot chips are an ok replacement for real meals when you're a thespian
  • In local theater you don't get your own dressing room
Oh it's been a journey