Tomorrow is my 11th celebrant birthday, 11 years a celebrant, wow, and today I’ve been thinking about all the funny/stupid things the wedding industry bought into my world over the last 11 years.

Here’s a few that have been rattling around in my head.

  • It’s hilarious how far photographers and videographers will go to make it look like no vendors, including the celebrant, were ever at the wedding. I see some wedding photo galleries and films, and there’s not even a slither of my arm in frame lol. What’s with the weird fantasy that no-one was working on a wedding?

  • You’d be surprised how much time of my time is spent confirming which year a wedding enquiry is for, and where the wedding is going to be.

  • There’s a heavy link between people who won’t pay a fee that allows me to maintain a sustainable business, that will still be operating when their wedding comes around, and people who are in Facebook groups after their wedding bitching about how terrible their wedding vendors were.

  • Facebook Groups are the devil.

  • The best wedding vendors have an inner drive to be better. They’re attending workshops, listening to podcasts, upgrading their gear, learning, teaching, mentoring, being mentored.

  • Wedding vendors who aren’t doing those things are probably in a Facebook Group undercutting everyone on price then leaving the wedding industry in a year because “brides are expletive”

  • I once had a groom’s dad threaten to beat me up before a ceremony. I’m always keeping one eye on the groom’s parents at a wedding, statistically speaking, they’re the crazy ones there.

  • I think a lot about how in the context of planning a wedding, the words “traditional” and “formal” actually don’t mean anything. People say they want a completely non-traditional wedding then do all the traditional things, and people say they don’t want a formal wedding but state a dress code as black tie.

  • At weddings, more than half the time I’m there I’m trying to patiently wait for things, without looking like I’m waiting. At these times I’m normally singing Wiggles songs inside my head.

  • Finally, beware of anyone who says they “love weddings”. No sane person “loves weddings”. Sane people love that person A and person B are getting married, and that is being celebrated at a wedding, but across the board weddings can be some of the strangest, weirdest, and most wonderful things you could ever see. I’m surprised there aren’t more reality TV shows about weddings. In-fact, I’m surprised I haven’t paid a camera crew to follow me around, it’d be a rip-snorter of a TV show. Sane people don’t love weddings, but they love being a part of the creative process that makes a moment where two people can get married in a special and meaningful way.

  • Facebook Groups are evil.

  • Listen to my podcast, The Rebels' Guide To Getting Married, because honestly, someone has to listen to it otherwise it’s probably just going to get archived by the podcast host.