Sitting in a park in Paris watching my kids play I was struck by the idea that at age 41, married for almost 11 years, with two children, that I’m possibly an adult now.

Which probably sounds weird to anyone familiar with the concept of becoming an adult in our society somewhere between puberty and 21.

But I think we lack something in modern society - I know I lacked it in my childhood - that would not only help the 41 year old so know that they’re adults but also help all of us take ownership of our lives. Help us understand that you can either make your life or let someone or something else make it for you. Help us take responsibility for our lives, our families, and our futures.

It’s ceremony.

We shy away from it, not wanting to celebrate birthdays or anniversaries in public, or for some of us we even deny our age. We minimise weddings and engagements saying we don’t want to be the centre of attention - and this is even worse in Australia where tall poppy syndrome rears its ugly head stopping us from celebrating our achievements in life. I even hear it from people who, when they find out I’m a wedding celebrant, proudly tell me how they just went to the registry office and didn’t have a wedding.

For hundreds of generations we have celebrated milestones and achievements with ceremony and feasting.

It’s how we know where we have been, where we are, and where we’re going.

I believe ceremony is important. It’s why I’m a marriage celebrant.

Good ceremony is where we stop, collaborate, and listen. A moment for us to speak truths, smile, laugh, draw near, and share.

I hope you find the time to stop and celebrate something this week.