With ers Without You

Something no-one talks about is how if you’re really cool in the metaverse, you’re actually not really cool in real life.

Just minted an NFT of the current vibe in my house after I’ve sole-parented all day. Critics are calling it a “hollowed out tree trunk of a man”, others are saying “I would not spend 1eth on that.”

Available now on OpenSea.

The year is 2051. All of us but the elite are working for below minimum wage in the Farmville metaverse tending to digital crops and feeding metaverse animals in overseas countries so we have a metaverse visa to access a different metaverse than the one our parents were in.

Local barista wrapped up our conversation saying “see you next week!”

Am I allowed back tomorrow because I assume she works on a Sunday to Saturday calendar where I personally see Monday as the first day of the week?

In the metaverse there are no clothes. Just pixels.

If our parents disown us in real life do they disown us in the metaverse?

Please do not worship me, but I just wound up a dish cloth tightly and whipped a fly to its death.

Imagine being on the Q train from Brooklyn into Manhattan, a regular Tuesday morning in September 2001, the train comes above ground and the World Trade Towers are just on fire then it sinks underground again and you don’t know what’s going on.

One of my earliest memories - and there’s only a few from this traumatic time in my life - is watching my new step-mother, Selena, pile up all of our childhood photos, memories of my mother, and the family before Selena arrived, and burn them in the backyard. It was quite ceremonial and I imagine it must have felt quite nice for her. But I’ve always wondered what the significance was.

Burning the photos didn’t make my mother burn, despite her absence at the time, but it wasn’t until later in life that I recognised what she was burning: my story.

My first camera was a Nokia 7600 with an almighty 0.3 megapixel sensor and the magic of capturing photos overcame me.

Which leads me to today.

I make photos today, they’re ok, but I’m really interested in discovering how photos matter to people, how my photos can matter to people, and if they would.

My plan

The plan is to document these learnings, what I’ve experienced and learned so far, dive into equipment, techniques, and talk about money, in an email/blog called “Shudder Speed” and you can subscribe, all free, shudderspeed.co

I’ll share what I’ve learned, ask questions of my friends that are practising photographers, and reach out to strangers to ask the same questions.

Sometime in the next decade or so maybe I’ll figure out how to make photos that matter to people other than me, and I’d love to drag you along for the ride.

I’ve been lucky enough to create weddings all over the globe and I’ve been trying to make photos that matter that entire time. Generally speaking I’ve been mostly unsuccessful at reaching this goal, but the few times one of my photos has mattered to someone will be documented in upcoming emails.

I’m still creating weddings and elopements, and intend to continue until people stop asking me to.

How do floorboards work?

Like, if your toddler vomits and there’s vomit between the floorboards, is that no longer my responsibility now that it’s out of my paper towel’s reach?

What are the floorboard rules?