Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • I love #UberX! It's like my non-English speaking mate picks me up from the airport and let's me control his Spotify.

  • #UberX is banned, or geoblocked from the airport.

  • I'd love to see how many passengers walk outside of @SydneyAirport to catch an #UberX, @Uber_Sydney? There's three of us at the moment.

  • Sydney bound!

  • Waa-hay!

  • I'd like to start a ska band, The Contending Bosstones.

  • I don't mean to boast but I just scheduled an 8am Saturday morning appointment. How's that, adult life?!

  • The Lego Movie WAS awesome, but an 83 minute ad shouldn't win an Oscar.

  • I think the thing everyone's missing here is that Shake It Off IS the actual hottest song of 2014 #ThisSickBeat #Tay4Hottest100

  • It's almost un-Australian to not vote for Tay at this point #Tay4Hottest100

  • Why can't it be taco Tuesday every night? Asking for a friend.

  • I need a street address in the Sydney CBD, preferably for a public business, to receive a single letter to - anyone?

  • #Tay4Hottest100 #neverforget

  • Waa-hay!

  • Thanks to @swoodgate I now know that I can be Googled at "psychotic celebrant Brisbane"

  • I love emptying kitty litter #affirmations #positivity #icandoit

  • I just saw a post from @Wil_Anderson on Facebook and realised that it's this weekend that @MolksTVTalk & I do Sydney. Woohoo!

  • Email from a couple "did not find you by googling 'hipster celebrant'....googled 'not old celebrant' haha"

  • How else will this cruel world deceive me?

  • Come on Eileen plays on Spotify and you're home alone. Kevin McCallister has nothing on me.

  • Waa-hay!

  • .@TwitterAU you know that's the ugliest way of tweeting right? Surely we could find a prettier way of doing this?

  • I've just realised that I've finished work in Brisbane too late and if I leave now I'm just going to sit in traffic. Sigh.

  • The first thing I'm going to ask Jesus is 'who is Ed Sheeran's song, Don't, about?'

  • Optus: behind the times.

  • There's a blog post on the way telling you why Valentine's Day is the best day to get married, not the cheesiest!

  • Want to get married on Valentine's Day? Today's your last chance to give one month's notice.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Mind you, it's nothing compared to the 33,067 emails that you guys sent me ...

  • My IT guys just told me that I sent 8,498 emails last year. Sorry 'bout that.

  • Remember when we used to order letterheads. Now we order a domain name.

  • People sometimes mistake me for a wedding celebrant. I'm actually just a professional email inbox emptier.

  • Do you ever think that @1200Techniques has lost faith in karma after no one wrote a song about their karma?

  • I probably tweet more than the average nerd. I think most tweets go unread and unnoticed. I tweet one inaccurate thing about the NBN, boom.

  • Waa-hay!

  • Bought a misspelled domain name last night, @hover probably needs to install a breathalyser.

  • Is there a 1800 number you call if you se someone using iOS 6?

  • Can you help me brainstorm a podcast name? I want to create a show about using tech, gadgets, websites, apps, to help solo/small businesses.

  • Call out for audio engineers/producers looking for work, msg me.

  • If there happens to be anyone with a spare couple of minutes in Melbourne's Tullamarine airport around 10:40am tomorrow morning let me know?

  • ... so I'm never opening Messages on my iPhone again, sorry to anyone that ever messages me.

  • I don't know how your day is going but a client accidentally sent me a picture of his gear today ...

  • If your idea can be invalidated by a funny cartoon, your idea might need readjustment. Advice for entrepreneurs and terrorists.

  • I had no intention of any political campaigning #qldpol, but now I want to buy an 'I'm with stupid' shirt and go on #smurfwatch #FreeCanDo

  • I'm with stupid -> @Can_do_Campbell #FreeCanDo

  • Not sure how much I can say, but I know that this is not the last time everyone will hear from @Can_do_Campbell this #qldpol #FreeCanDo

  • OMG A MASSIVE COCONUT FELL AND ALMOST JUST KILLED ME. Tropical life is hard, yo #TheStruggleIsReal

  • Really looking forward to Channel 13 News' upcoming documentary on the human condition.

  • Can you buy @VirginAustralia lounge guest passes?

  • In other news, I'm three hours early for a flight.