Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Having heard the leader of the USA speak, on the same day and the leader of Australia speak, I literally can’t #G20

  • Pretty much the only thing Australia can do now is just wave a white flag and hand Obama the keys to Kirribilli #G20

  • I’m pretty sure @BarackObama just held a public intervention with @TonyAbbottMHR #G20

  • Ummm, did @BarackObama just shirtfront Putin? #G20

  • Listening to Obama speak makes you wish Australia could be lead by a statesman, not an embarrassment #G20

  • What time does Captain Planet arrive for the #G20?

  • Life would be easier if just had the voice control button replaced with a ‘Call Britt’ button.

  • I’ve got a state of the art voice control system in my car and the only thing I do is argue with it about trying to call Brittany.

  • Pen emergency #celebrantlife

  • Finally @KimKardashian and @TonyAbbottMHR are working together on a project: #BreakTheInternet

  • "Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies." - Kristen Schaal

  • Walked past the Brisbane Marriott today, Obama’s sleeping there Saturday night. The White House looked less secure last week! #G20

  • Just received an email that had "Sent from Surface Pro" at the bottom of it. Is this a new joke that I missed out on whilst in the states?

  • The best thing about #TheTalkShow is where @gruber tells @siracusa “let’s wrap up on this” and Overcast says there’s 40 minutes left.

  • Is anyone doing a #RedFooFacts Twitter joke thing yet? Anyone? @RedFoo?

  • Make an offer to @FakeAshPunch

  • Post holiday blues: Trying to empty my "Business to be attended to" email folder. Only matched by the joy that is my "For Quickbooks" folder

  • Is this what they mean when they say "all in a day's work"?

  • Fly from LA to Sydney, Sydney to Brisbane, drive Brisbane to Gold Coast, perform two ceremonies, and stay for the second's reception.

  • Looking forward to getting home so I can pin bad wireless internet service on @Telstra instead of free airport and cafe WiFi.

  • America, you've been good to us. A little too good with this unscheduled extra day in LA. See you in 21 hours. Australia!

  • The title of the next, next #StarWars movie has been released: Star Wars: The Force Is Grabbing A Late Brunch Today.

  • So LA’s pretty cool

  • Went past the Women's Museum in Washington DC. Seems a bit pointless, women don't ever forget anything. They need a men's museum.

  • How much kale do I need to eat to offset a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks? Asking for a friend.

  • I’m havjng far too much fun in DC.

  • “This white man has a bigger penis than this white man” - Pretty much every advert on American TV this week #midtermelections

  • Hello Washington DC!

  • I for one welcome our new #Flyfi overlord #JetBlue

  • There's something awesome and scary about flying through turbulence at 753km per hour at 20,000 feet, watching #GOT whilst on Twitter.

  • Puerto Rico is hot, muggy, and more full of Americans than New York.

  • And for first marriages it’s even lower.

  • Did you know that the 50% of marriages don’t actually end in divorce. Recent research shows that it’s about 30%.

  • There’s something awesomely liberating about being in a city where every sign is in Spanish. It’s like a lovely forced ignorance #PuertoRico

  • Call it over-exposure to pop culture, or just plain silliness, but whenever a local finishes a sentence my brain adds “Hey Macarena!”

  • I’m on the Internet FROM THE SKY OMG! #flyfi #jetblue

  • JFK ✈ Puerto Rico!

  • Tomorrow we’re off to Puerto Rico for three days then we hit DC, home Friday-week!

  • Today we’re going to the Statue of Liberty, Central Park, Top of the Rock and ….

  • we’re going to drop in on @charlescory because I want to meet his boss (Gary Vaynerchuk!!!!)

  • Totally watching CBS to watch the #Letterman show I’ve already seen taped.

  • Sooo @taylorswift13 and I connected, like in the eyes, tonight at #thelateshow … do I need to leave Britt now?

  • Tossing up the idea of going to the Letterman show this afternoon dressed as a sexy ebola nurse.

  • Today’s mission: Letterman, Fallon, Colbert or Stewart tickets. Please be kind standby ticket deity!

  • Checked out the new Kindle at Best Buy - I’ve never thought of an e-ink tablet as sexy, but hey, first time for everything!

  • Credit goes to @KasturiShan who says that a situationship is a relationship without any emotional relationship.

  • New York term for being exclusive, but not in a relationship: situationship. The most passive aggressive of the ‘ships.

  • With Ebola so close I'm watching I Am Legend today for a refresher NYC survival course.

  • Well I’ve got to say, it’s an honour to be in the same city as Ebola. Later on in life when everyone ignores me, I’ll have have a reason.

  • 8:45am on day 5: they have accepted me as one of their own. Barista at the Starbucks across from my apartment cracked a joke with me.