Old age is when you're reading a clients birth certificate and they were born in a year you can clearly remember.

Who of all of my Tweeps are Perth mediaites? I've got a Perth wedding story for those keen, we're rocking the @popupwed in WA this Monday!

I just had the most Queensland problem ever: I couldn't find my good thongs.

Google Ad: 85c, the phone call, $1.60, hearing her whisper 'woohoo' before she ends the call to see if I'm available: priceless.

Mog has been rumoured to be replaced, updated by/to Beats in Australia.

Australian Beats/Apple angle: Mog is owned by Bears. In Australia Mog is sold/licences by Bigpond Music, no data charges on Telstra.

Apple right now: Just Beat it.

Barber is playing Slipknot. It's a good day.

Some people go to theme parks for fun. Me? I just open the laptop but don't open GMail straight away. I'm a thrillseeker.

Breaking: Australia to be renamed to The Straylia.

Sifting through @kanyewest's back catalogue trying to guess which song he sung himself down the aisle to.

Webstats always tell such a fun and odd story. Today two people have Googled "cost of joshua withers".

GCal runs a tight and lean ship, is very unforgiving, but given fair warning is very generous with days off.

Some say that being self-employed means that you're your own boss. Not true. I'm employed by Google Calendar.

I'm usually not one for traditions. But reading the @SatPaper could easily become one.

Considering a new photo-journalism series "Motorways turned into carparks"

Do not ever give up. Simply print this out, stare at it forever, and eventually you will die.

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery." - Writer, James Joyce

Britt trying to describe zip-ties: the things rapists use.

Increasing by an average of five people per day.

Hey, if anyone's looking for website, Google, or SEO help I've got the details of about three trillion Indian guys that can help you.

The real casualties of the universe expanding are the local universes that are already doing it tough in this astrological environment.

Marriage is less about being madly in love and more about always letting your bride have some of your chips.

As much as I tell everyone that I don't miss the media, of course I'm the wanker whose first reaction to a truck on fire is: video that shit

Sad, funny, strange. Words I'm using to describe people passionately dancing to Semisonic's Closing Time at 11:59pm.

Life's always good when you're playing tunes. I'm at Novotel Twin Waters tonight. Don't mention the two hour drive home at midnight ....

A couple on why they booked me "we do not want a boring ceremony, we’re in love - not going into retirement"

Shuts ... but shits is also appropriate.

It's not a day ending in y unless there's another crash on the motorway that shits down the whole motorway ...

With Channel Ten axing News it's got a new show planned: Olds. It's the best of the Ten News of the past 50 years.

Citizens of the world, let's put aside our politics & beliefs to unite against our true enemy: the canapés "no thanks" guilt-trip guy.

You know you're in the country when the local council installs signs instructing drivers to ignore their GPS.

Wouldn't it suck to be the guy who's lasting legacy was inventing pistachio crispbread.

I suppose 91.7 is aimed at an older demographic?

ABC Gold Coast is such a different radio station to 612 Brisbane. I literally feel young listen to 91.7, on 612 I feel on par.

People wanting to be stars, shouldn't be stars #TheVoiceAu

I know that's a mega smart-ass tweet, @abcgoldcoast, but you're doing the tech equivalent of announcing @JuliaGillard as the new PM.

ABC GC doing a new technology segment where they're breaking the news of Google Glass, right now. Need a hand over there, @abcgoldcoast?

Fixing father-in-law's computer, what malware software do kids use on Windows PCs these days?

Beats by Steve.

Do you know someone that works for a printing company? I'm looking for a blank, possibly even broken, pull-up banner. Bris/GC/Tweed.

Wedding on the Gabba turf today, I've got cricket puns, don't worry, but if you had something extra specially punny, feel free to comment.

I wanted to post a Jay Z/Beyoncé joke and Britt said I could do it Solange as it was funny.

Mega thanks to everyone :)

I'm worried this PA system thing is getting out of hand. Ch9's on the phone ... might just pay for one myself :)

I have a very large collection of books ... which I would like to start reading one day.

Wedding is Thursday May 22 on the Sunshine Coast, I can pickup/dropoff to Bris/GC

Place I normally rent from can't donate, so I thought I'd ask publically.

I'm donating my services to a terminally ill bride next Thursday night, needing a PA system and party lights for the reception, can u help?

Amirite?