Withers Without You

When John McCain lost the presidential election to Barack Obama, he made this humble speech. Humility is an attractive element of any person, especially a leader.

For anyone who thought fake crowd noise for baseball matches in empty stadiums wasn’t a beautiful art

Trying to run a non-local business in 2020 = early grave, silver hair, deep familiarity with how Australian governance works, looking forward to a future of never hearing the words Annastacia Palaszczuk again, regrettable subscription to the Courier Mail.

When Australia elects me as its president, the first item on my agenda will be outlawing the use of the term “The Coast” in regards to anything else but the Gold Coast.

No other coasts will be “The Coast”.

Vote 1 me.

Weirdest story of the US election so far

“There is an awful lot of anger in the world and there is a real need to be creative with it rather than destructive.”

— Alice Walker

Business idea: Thirdhand bookstores, so your secondhand books can be sold and not just thrown out like you currently are.

Life hack: save the money on building a toilet, just pee in the ocean.

When Fox News references problems with Mainstream Media you know the phrase, and the conversation, is broken. Fox is MSM. They are part of the problem.

It’s that time of year agin for me to be that wet paper bag of a man I am and say that Melbourne Cup, horse racing, gambling, and the entire culture in Australia that supports and celebrates the three is embarrassing and sad.

Please continue eating your roast chicken and drinking your wine knowing that I like wine and chicken, but don’t like what gambling or horse racing does.

I don’t like to get political on here, but how have we let butterflies be called butterflies for so long when they have nothing to do with butter, it’s just an amalgamation of flutterby and buttorfleoge and boterflye.

The first two things I saw in the outside world this morning were about Sean Connery. One post was announcing his death. Another was reminding us of his misogynistic past.

It’s a weird thing to reconcile the day after someone dies. To see that they were a person, loved by so many, yet they were flawed and broken in so many ways.

I think Sean Connery needs our grace.

My hope, my prayer, my meditation, my personal goal, the thing I’d ask you to embrace in 2021, is grace.

Grace as a secular concept embodies a courtesy. Goodwill extended to you even though commonly it might not be. The Christian concept extends it further, allowing mercy without merit.

Grace isn’t forgetting, it’s not even forgiving really. It’s not an eraser or coverup. It’s not a cancel and it’s not imagining that nothing happened.

It’s acceptance of what has been, allowing for the consequences of those activities, and building a bridge to the now.

It’s an acknowledgement of humanity, our weaknesses and our insecurities, and an olive branch through them. Not past, or over, or under, but through.

May grace lace my every word in the year ahead.

It’s what I need. It’s what my marriage, family, business, and friendships need. I’m willing to bet it’s what you need. Let’s give it freely.

Grace.

Sharing because I feel like I’m not the only person wondering where Damon Wayons Jr went after the pilot episode of New Girl.

the reason behind this change was that Wayans was also part of the cast of Happy Endings, and as he was expecting it to be canceled, he joined New Girl. However, Happy Endings was renewed for a second season, and he had to leave New Girl.

via Screenrant

This really good report from El Pais not only tells you how coronavirus spreads through the air, but thanks to ther interwebs and computers, it shows you. This is a really good and informing read.

2016 really does feel like a lifetime ago. I was in Iceland, having just been to Berlin and we were enroute to Paris, the first time I had ever married anyone in Europe. It was a pretty epic trip. I remember landing in Hong Kong from Paris and everyone got phone service. It was like landing and finding out a national disaster had occured, but Donald Trump had been elected President of the United States of America.

Meanwhile, “Closer,” by the Chainsmokers, was the country’s No. 1 song, as it had been since August. Not to read too much into that or anything, especially considering the duo’s troubling recent history of social distancing violations, but this lyrical snippet is standing out as pretty meaningful to me in 2020: “Four years, no calls/ Now you’re looking pretty in a hotel bar.” What if the thing looking pretty in the hotel bar … was democracy?

– Heather Schwedel in Slate

Look, I’m not going to tell you who to vote for, but I’ll happily tell you that dinosaur owner and political party creator, Clive Palmer, is spending a lot of money spreading lies about a death tax that doesn’t exist.

Luckily/sadly their website can’t handle the traffic …

How can lies like this be spread so easily without reprucussions?

Here’s a news piece about the death tax lie.

In their most outrageous form, the ads feature Palmer’s United Australia party candidates (such as his wife) urging electors to “Stop Labor’s 20% Death Tax”. Labor has no policy to reintroduce a tax on bequests, however large the inheritance, anywhere in Australia. The framing, the rising inflection in the speaker’s voice and the faux specificity of the claim are all designed to arouse emotion and credulity, by diverting attention from its factual baselessness.

I’m a guest on George Dimarelos’s podcast, Book(ish) talking about Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Talking To Strangers. So it’s not just about the book, it’s about my life’s experiences that basically leave me an anxious wreck thinking that no-one understands me. It’s pretty much a therapy session recorded for your entertainment.

Seeing as though I’m not an influencer, I don’t get many influencer opportunities, but when I do …

Life hack: sugar.

You know you’ve built a great society when every few years the most civic-minded of the society are forced to publicly beg, cheat, lie, and steal to get a job in management and guidance of the society. A system which eventually eats their souls.

There is no perfect twee…

I see 2020 has a side hustle

What a novel method of podcast promotion. /cc @podnews

The anthem of Melbourne, 2020. Melbourne by Slowly Slowly

It’s come to my attention that I need to clear something up and I’m so sorry if you have been following me here for the wrong reasons.

I’m a celebrant, not a celibate.

These are completely different things.

”Hyun, if you are living a life that is content my advice is to learn to live inside it, examine it, relish it, and most of all remember it — this extraordinary thing, a happy life:”

Nick Cave in reply to Hyun’s question on creativity only flourishing in a state of loss and longing.

Got troubles? Solve your troubles. Get the MASSAGE GUN!

I don’t like to talk politics on here, but what’s with lasagne not being a popular dish anymore?

Rob Bell {through his podcast} encouraged me to talk to my friends about our antennas.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed (like I majorly am) through this year, I think this podcast episode might soothe you.

Look, I’m not saying anyone should do this, but has anyone considered getting some horses to race around a Melbourne wedding to make it legal?

Hey, has anyone pinned the pandemic on the guy who invented QR codes yet? I reckon he might be responsible.

Bernt

🌄

🌳

With the decrease in tourists flooding the Australian outback, native Australian beers are being spotted again in the wild #lifefindsaway

Well grounded beef

Posting this photo online for the next time there’s an alpaca related scandal and someone searches Alpacagate, or Alpaca Gate, or #alpacagate

The greatest shame in my life today is how the Apple Watch hand-washing detection doesn’t detect my hand-washing. How can I convince this little computer that I am cleansed?

Today our Luna becomes a two year old and you know what the worst part about it is? That all the cliches are true. They do grow up so fast, they will grow out of it, it does get easier, this too will actually pass, and she really is the light of my life.

I’m in awe of Britt’s ability to be a mother whilst also being a friend, businessperson, wife, and human - a skill I’m yet to master.

And Luna, I’m so proud to be your dad. You’re a beautiful person and you’re going to be an awesome big sister in a few months time!

Opinionated ‘gulls

“It’s an article of faith in the United States that more speech is better and that the government should regulate it as little as possible” - The First Amendment in the age of disinformation. By Emily Bazelon, in the New York Times

Today is the first, and I’m guessing probably the last, flight I’ll take from Gold Coast to Canberra on a) a 717, and b) with Qantas. What a time to be alive.

I’m the father of a two year old (well tomorrow I will be)

Let’s get some real talk happening.

Is this bit crosswalks, or is it not crosswalks?

Out of all the books I’ve read that are not about the 45th president of the United States of America, but are about climate change, Volcanic Winter is the most enjoyable one of all!

A helmet might seem a bit extreme for cake, but we’re taking no risks after the dancing incident a fortnight ago.

Politics takes up a lot of our mindshare today.

Lots of people agreeing with a policy, politician, or party, or disagreeing with.

I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work. The joke about “there’s only two types of people” is a joke for a reason.

It’s not supposed to be an us and them situation, where you’re either for or against Dan Andrews, or the Liberal Party, or Trump, or lockdowns.

It’s so lazy to outsource our societal creativity, community problem solving, love for others, to a select group of politicians.

I want to be in the room, wrestling over the ideas, lovingly disagreeing, or not even disagreeing, but agreeing through gritted teeth because we can see the greater good despite the pain it might cause elsewhere.

Don’t put yourself, or me, against others over politics. The policy, the community, our society, deserve better than two teams battling it out to be right.

The truth is, if all you want to be is correct, to be cheering for the right team, prepare to be disappointed.

I don’t want to be on the right team. I’d just like to be the annoying guy on your team.

You know, over the years, we’ve all made a lot of fun of Melbourne. But I’m pretty keen to experience a Melbourne cliche sometime again real soon.

Mon, Dec 21, 2020. Victorian Premier Daniel Andrew’s takes the podium

Hello ScoMo, it’s Dan here, I hope you’re keeping well. It’s the 21st of December, and now they’re ringing the last bells. If I get good behaviour, I’ll be out of here by July. Who’s gonna make the gravy?

📷 #ADayInTheLife of Luna.

Gold Coast, Australia.

4:51pm, Wednesday, October 14, 2020.

Marketing isn’t that hard, you just need to put the right story in front of the right people.

When’s the right age to start pile driving your daughter?

Asking for a friend.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Rove McManus’s actual first name is John.

One year ago today I dressed my daughter like a nerd after visiting Cupertino. I have no regrets.

Companies collecting data for pubs and restaurants to help them fulfil their contact-tracing duties are harvesting confidential customer information to sell.

– The Times, UK

Marilyn Nonroe

Hollywood Stunt Driver Show, still the best show at Movie World

A little FYI that we’re going to be socially distanced from contemptible people until scientists do the impossible & develop a vaccine for fools.

I know this will be hard on the contempt industry, but we will not be offering any support despite rumours of a FoolKeeper subsidy.

📷 The Covid lockdowns and restrictions have resulted in far less tourists in Australia so we’ve seen the native Australian blow up animal flocking back to Gold Coast hinterland homes in great numbers this year.

📷 Rearview sunsets

I’m not one to try to remember the darker, weirder, less enjoyable moments of life.

But today, while I was having a meeting with a couple I’m marrying next year, an angry bloke named Mark walked in and threatened to bash me up in the middle of the cafe.

Mark posted in the Facebook Group about how Coles Supermarkets were closed today because of a computer issue, and commented that this is why we need to always carry cash etc.

I bantered with him a bit, became quite cheeky, and teased him for being a boomer. I was a bit of a douchebag.

He threatened to find me and fight me.

I saw a hurting middle aged guy named Mark, not some violent thug. So I offered up that I would be at my local cafe, Sisterhood Coffee, and although I would not and could not fight, I was available to meet and chat.

He arrived and made a big scene. The Police came and we made a report.

I posted the below in the Facebook Group before leaving it, and the sentiment remains for all. I don’t have much to offer this world, but if your alone and angry - online or off - I’m often available to be your friend.

Facebook Group Post:

A thing I never thought would happen, happened today. A member of this Facebook group walked into Sisterhood Coffee threatening to bash me up. A formal report’s been made with the Police and I guess they’ll find him and talk to him. But I’m seriously saddened by the state of our community. That some banter on a Facebook group about how Coles was closed and about a cashless society, resulted in a middle aged man resorting to violence. We make big claims in this Facebook group about the light rail, youths, or tradies, ruining Palm Beach, the truth is, we’re ruining Palm Beach, by being so emotionally disconnected, so spiritually void, that we feel the need to go into a fist fight in a cafe over cheeky Facebook comments. Mark, if you see this, my call to come to the coffee shop to talk was genuine. If you want to fight, I can’t and won’t, you’ll be bashing up a useless guy. But if you want a friend, I’m guessing you’ll be able to find me again. Seriously, if any of you are feeling that alone, sad, and divided that we resort to inhumane violence, I live in Palm Beach and I’d like to be your friend. Please don’t bash me up though. You’ll be leaving a pregnant wife and two year old daughter with a wounded dad, and you’ll be left with the legacy of missing out on having a real connection with another person on the planet.

Study reveals link between internet access coming to people and scepticism of government - The Economist

“Discovering things is clumsy and sporadic, and the results don’t at first compare well with the glossy and lauded works of the past. You have to keep reminding yourself that they went through that as well, otherwise they become frighteningly accomplished.” - Brian Eno

I have a memory of seeing someone eat avocado on toast and it being something I couldn’t have.

Skip forward 30 years and my almost two year old requests it for breakfast.

My new favourite iPhone game, Upspell It’s like your own personal 2 minute game of scrabble without a scrabble board, plus you can duel others.

On the chance that you were wondering how the different levels of government in Australia worked, in the 19th century all the states we now know as Australia (and for a second there, almost Fiji and New Zealand) agreed to federate, but all the states would keep their governments.

They agreed to give these powers to the new federal government though, as you can read in section 51 of the Constitution. Local governments are different again, each state’s Local Government Act determines what the councils can do.

So that’s the weird thing about Australia. The Prime Minister parades around like he’s Kingpin but he’s basically working for the states on a little to-do list put together 120 years ago.

Every now and then the PM has a nuanced little opportunity to flex some muscle with money, but basically the state Premiers are the real MVPs.

In hindsight it’s quite the odd system. If you were starting fresh today you’d probably design a country very differently.

“Here’s a deal to a place you can’t fly to right now, but maybe soon, but who knows, look, I don’t know, I’m just in charge of sending emails and convincing people to buy tickets to places, my job is hell, is there a state election soon?”

People in an airplane. Circa October 2020.

You wouldn’t know she has six stitches under that bandage. She’s back at full speed!

A rather lonely planet

“Build a good name. Keep your name clean. Don’t make compromises, don’t worry about making a bunch of money or being successful — be concerned with doing good work and make the right choices and protect your work. And if you build a good name, eventually, that name will be its own currency.”

• Patti Smith

There is only one coffee I’ve ever had that I still think about today, and I was served it in Tokyo

Tiny, Luna’s BFF, isn’t doing so well though. Went in with literally zero symptoms and walked out with antibiotics, a splint, and a bandage around the head.

Luna’s doing really well today, thanks everyone, and @cheesemaker @maique @Munish 💪🏽

Proof of life, and smile

Due to Withers family government restrictions, dancing is not allowed in the Withers house until further notice.

Just a reminder for Australians that before you go to bed tonight, to change your clocks back to the future, I’m thinking August 2021 personally, it should all be over then.

Science … the microcovid.org website calculates the risk of you contracting COVID-19.

This is my risk profile for “going to bars regularly” in Queensland, talking to random people for 20 minutes at a time if we’re all not wearing masks and at normal standing distances (3ft).

0.7-in-a-million.

Oh good, someone’s figured out how to make TikTok worse.

Autobiographies are just word selfies.

So many of my couples are on their third, fourth, or even fifth wedding plan.

The couple I am marrying today had originally booked me and The Elopement Collective for the Amalfi Coast.

When we all realised that Italy 2020 wasn’t happening, we kept on hearing talk of a New Zealand travel bubble so we planned for a September elopement in Queenstown.

Then when that bubble was never realised, and Jetstar cancelled our flights, we brought it closer to home, and planned to elope in the Blue Mountains. Then NSW was cut off.

So this afternoon in good ol' Queensland, in the Sunshine Coast hinterland they’ll finally get married.

I’ve got similar stories for so many people, with so many emails, so many text messages and phone calls.

The interesting part is that they’re not overly sexy stories, nor are they terribly sad stories, I can imagine some people thinking “Wah wahh, you can’t get married in Amalfi”, but these are real stories out of 2020. Between the bushfires, the pandemic, the travel cancellations, the lockdowns, the people who have shut down their businesses - some for good - and those who are out of work, hold a heavy trove of stories. Britt and I are supposed to be in California today getting ready for an elopement in Yosemite.

It’s a weird old year.

Are we living at the ‘hinge of history’?

What makes our time hingey is that we have created threats that our ancestors never had to face, such as nuclear war or engineered killer pathogens. Meanwhile, we are doing so little to prevent these civilisation-ending events.

Conundrum: a confusing and difficult problem

Today is March 210th, 2020.

whatdayofmarchisit.com

Bellicose: demonstrating aggression and willingness to fight

We live in the age of general. Where the average is enough.

Where we make great arguments over Brand A versus Brand B, dismissing the million shades of gray between them.

Where we call people and politicians left and right, like there really are only two types of people.

Where conversation about nuanced ideas, be it faith, politics, authors, ideas, medicine, or family, are dismissed if they aren’t your own beliefs.

I long for the age of nuance.

For a time where we could just chat.

In the literature underpinning the Christian tradition, the main character of the stories, asks 307 questions. He is asked 183, and he directly answers three.

I wonder what that means?

Hi, I’m Josh.

I’m a marriage celebrant.

I believe that the best part of your wedding should be your ceremony, and I work my ass off to make one that fits like a glove.

I think that if you had no arbour, cake, flowers, cars, photos, seats, decorations, suits, or white wedding uniforms/dresses, that it’s still an epic day because you are loved. Everything else is just sweet sweet sugar on top.

I think personal vows are powerful, and personalised dressing robes are cool.

I fly a drone (DJI Mavic 2 Pro) and I like making photos of things that aren’t people. I like 90s pop and alt rock and 2000’s Foo Fighters.

I’ve got a 23 month old daughter named Luna, another little girl here in February, and every day of mine is brighter because of Britt, my wife. She’s the brain behind the The Elopement Collective!

We live at Palm Beach on the Gold Coast, and if there’s not a pandemic I normally travel the globe creating epic marriage ceremonies.

I’d love to make yours!

#celebrant #celebrantinstitute

iPadOS 14 would be one of the more disappointing released of iPadOS/iOS for iPad.

No App Library, and no widgets outside of the widget area is an honest disappointment everytime I pick up my iPad now.

I’d bet/hope that the early 2021 release changes that.

New tree mulch from this upstart author/uncle, @markrwriter

Did you know there’s an Australian journalist on the 16th day of his US extradition court case in England at the moment?

You probably wouldn’t because it’s not being reported on, and it’s being algorithmicly pushed down online.

What a time to be alive.

Relax, just do it

Anyone else have an issue with the idea that we as a people struggle to do the right thing in a pandemic unless our civil liberties are severely restricted by legislators?

The idea that collectively we struggle to make good decisions for the community we live in without a bunch of rules written down on stone tablets, is getting a bit old.

But maybe that’s the only way we can succeed?

Did you know the Apple Watch comes preloaded with the last time and date that a free U2 album would’ve been cool instead of a meme.

It’s Intermational Talk Like A Pirate Day so make sure when you visit a store, restaurant, cafe, or airport today you talk like a pirate and casually drop that you’ve been sailing through Victorian waters this last fortnight.

My hobby is to comment “booo” on anti-progress boomers in local Facebook groups.

I’m clearly going to Bunnings too much if I’m getting photos of Luna on the same date sitting in a Bunnings trolley.

“Transport bosses in Greater Manchester confirmed a snake was not a valid face covering.”

• The BBC

She thinks we’re playing, I think we’re training, we’re a great team.

I’m worried that the world doesn’t know how much I really don’t want my little black pocket computer to randomly start vibrating and making sounds because someone’s decided how I should spend the next five minutes of my life.

Thought you might need to read this as well if you’re making a speech at a wedding

The story of how Air New Zealand tried to sell Ansett to Singapore Airlines or Qantas for just $1.

🐮🐮🐮 #shotoniphone

For security reasons, we try to change our Prime Minister every six months, and to never use the same Prime Minister on multiple websites.

From: When you browse Instagram and find former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s passport number

In 20-40 years our kids and grandkids will host COVID-19 lockdown themed weddings and parties and they’ll think it’s so cool.

Anyone else getting fat-wrist-shamed by Apple?

Day one of being a bike person. Cycling sucks.

🐄📷

Every year there was a less than 1 per cent chance of experiencing a similar event. “However things can change, so we need to be vigilant,” he said.

From a story in the Melbourne Age newspaper, five years ago

The September of the penguins

The moment Luna knew she wanted to be a Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtle

Keith: serious Murwillumbah business

Luna: “this TV is way better than Mum and Dad’s”

That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darlin'

Your phone is your castle

• Kyle Rankin

Self portrait at Keith’s

Now showing, at the Murwillumbah Cinema.

Culture behind bars

Orange Floyd’s wall

Calile-lyf

Here it is

The berds are growing in numba

It’s actually crazy that public policy for resuming work and life in Australia is hinging on an unknown, possibly non-existent, possibly not effective, not tested, Covid vaccine.

It’s like me saying I’ll stop punching you once an alien spaceship arrives.

You’re going to have some bruises and you’ll probably never see an alien.

Outbak Straya

Burd

I love Luna loves to read

Burd

🥃🏡🏔🌅📷

Boat & chopper looking for a Great White Shark that killed a surfer yesterday.

Reminds me of the ep of Chappelle’s Show where the Police call it an open & shut case of break & enter because they found a black man in a house where he’d put up pictures of his family everywhere.

What? I’m just standing here watching my kid sleep and posting photos of it on the internet,

”Relentlessly prune bullshit, don’t wait to do things that matter, and savour the time you have. That’s what you do when life is short.”

• Paul Graham

Semi-intimate is the relationship status everyone wants to be reported as when your semi-boyfriend is caught out after curfew.

Hey, is adding “Really strong gif game” to my resume worthwhile?

Asking for a friend.

Scientific American on what it means when we have unlimited access to information.

Technology is blurring the lines between consumers and producers, amateurs and professionals, and laypeople and experts. We’re just starting to understand the implications.

Hey world, it’s (pretty much) beach weather, according to

Dear whitegoods manufacturers, no one on God‘s green earth ever requested a feature where your machine would beep when finished. Please remove the beeps from all whitegoods in the future.

Yours sincerely, Josh.

I’ve just tonight finished reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book ‘Talking to Strangers” and I’d safely call it one of the most important and helpful books released in 2020.

If you talk to strangers in your work or life, you need to read this book.

Important Father’s Day topic

Doctor Luna

Of all the things I’ve achieved in my life, all of the places I’ve been, people I’ve met, things I’ve said and done, they are all pale in contrast to being dad.

What everyone wants to belong to is a community but they keep winding up in audiences instead and I think this is the cause of a tremendous amount of suffering right now. – @girlziplocked

You don’t realise how much parenting changes you until after you put your daughter to bed you find yourself standing in front of the TV to find out how this episode of Peter Rabbit ends.

Saw these guys, far from home, in Darwin, the Young Tigers.

What if, perchance, we weren’t all in this together?

The reason I’ll stay a wedding celebrant as long as they’ll have me, despite pandemics and BS, is because of the bizarre and beautiful relationship I have with our couples.

Emailing with a couple at the moment and they’re literally looking into ways to get an exemption for me to be with them at their wedding in California.

Despite 2020, the wedding industry is still the best place to be employed.

Except for working at KFC of course. The easy and direct access to fried chicken is obviously really cool.

What an ad.

Also, as much as I’d like to have that fancy new Microsoft Android thing, I’m firmly we’d to the idea that I don’t want Google’s fingers in my pockets.

Best karaoke song to sing if you want to establish that you didn’t start the proverbial fire, but also, that you’re really knowledgeable about world history?

Guy on the flight on Wednesday wore his AirPods like this. Is this a thing? 📷

Just one guest at today’s wedding 🍻 #victoriabitter