Josh Withers, the group chat

One of the little joys of being great at your art is inspiring others to take part in it. So often I am asked how to become a celebrant, that I have finally published my little eight-part guide on how to become a celebrant at the ever-so-smart domain name, becomeacelebrant.au

I’m a sucker for a crazy plan of any genre, but a crazy plan to save newspapers, I’m all in, Ted.

This line from the late Rich Mullins is my inspiration for writing, but gosh it’s hard sometimes

God spoke to Balaam through his ass, and God’s been speaking through them ever since.

Stephen King in On Writing:

If you’re just starting out as a writer, you could do worse than strip your television’s electric plug-wire, wrap a spike around it, and then stick it back into the wall. See what blows, and how far. Just an idea.

Debt by David Graeber:

If you owe the bank a hundred thousand dollars, the bank owns you. If you owe the bank a hundred million dollars, you own the bank.

I’ve just had my peak Mexican moment. I delivered a dad joke in Spanish and it was perfect.

I’m at our local sushi restaurant ordering takeaway dinner and whilst waiting at the bar they offer me a margarita, and you don’t say no to a margarita in Baja.

I finish it, and he gestured towards my empty glass to which I reply “esta roto” which means “it’s broken” whilst inspecting the bottom of my glass, implying that the drink must have fallen out of the bottom.

He laughs, I laugh, I’m now a Mexican dad and can never leave.

Do you think Carls Sr. is proud of his son?

Los Angeles bound for a few days, thankfully it’s raining so we won’t stay long enough for it to make us soft.

Hey everyone, make sure you update your … checks notes … Apple power cord …

Steven Pressfield on going deep:

Everyone wants to succeed immediately and without pain or effort. Or they love to write books about how to write books, rather than actually writing a book that might actually be about something. Bad advice is everywhere. Build a following. Establish a platform. Learn how to scam the system. In other words, do all the surface stuff and none of the real work it takes to actually produce something of value. The disease of our times is that we live on the surface. We’re like the Platte River, a mile wide and an inch deep. Real work and real satisfaction come from the opposite of what the web provides. They come from going deep into something - the book you’re writing, the album, the movie -and staying there for a long, long time.

What’s the go with Mayor Humdinger? Is Foggy Bottom even a real township? Why does the Paw Patrol continue to rescue this evil man?

Watched the sun set over the Pacific tonight as humpback whales came right up close to the shore so they could scratch their backs on the sand bars. What a time to be alive!

For Britt’s 33rd birthday we went to CDMX, Mexico City, and painted the town pink.

Pro Tip: if you’re ever asked what the largest city in North America is, it’s not in the USA. It’s Mexico City.

Mexico City’s zoo is free to access, and weirdly, equal parts cool and scary. I’m Australia animal enclosures are 1) large and spacious, and 2) very, very, very securely separate from humans. It’s very hard for humans to touch or be close to animals.

But at Zoológico de Chapultepec I could very much just jump into the lion’s area.

Every day in Mexico I’m confronted with the stark difference between Australia’s “let’s assume you’re stupid, we’ll try and stop you from dying” modus operandi to Mexico’s “let’s assume you’re smart, we’re not going to try and stop you dying”, which honestly, from an intellectual point of view really appeals to me.

Freddie deBoer on SubStack:

“The 90s were better. They just were. I’m sorry, but it’s science.”

In a world consumed by the idea of creating content, Burt Bacharach created the most evergreen content we’ve seen in recent times: “what the world needs now is love, sweet love.”

I’m unsure how many more Om Malik blog posts I can read before I trade in my Canon EOS R5 for a Leica. Please stop taunting me, @[email protected] :)

Every day I experience another “Mexico moment” and I am hesitant to share them publicly because I don’t want to ruin things here, nor be a stupid gringo. But today was great.

We bought a car back in October but it hasn’t been registered to me yet because to register a car you need a drivers license and to get a drivers license you need residency plus proof of address and a blood test.

Proof of residence is hard because addresses aren’t really a thing in regional Mexico so you use electricity bills and most electricity bills are in the name of a corporation because individuals can’t own properties.

So I find out last week I can get a letter of residence instead of using an electricity bill.

It takes me like four different government offices to find the right person in a back office of an office that is full of young people talking and laughing and this lady agrees to help. We’re talking the back office of the back office of a building without a sign near the building I thought I had to go to.

I need this important letter and she drafts it up, spells my name wrong, we correct it, and then the big boss of the department needs to sign it. By big boss I mean “President of the Municipality”.

He’s busy talking to important people.

She sits there for like three minutes clearly thinking it all through and then she just forges his signature, smiles at me, and hands me the letter.

I get a blood test from a local doctor and I’m now a licensed Mexican driver.

Policy and procedure means everything and nothing over here.

If Marie Kondo can give up on having a tidy house you can give up on a whole range of crap. Celebrate quitting, cancelling and giving up. Not everything or everyone needs to be driven to the edge of sanity.

Ed Catmull in Creativity, Inc.:

“We aren’t aware that the majority of what we think we see is actually our brain filling in the gaps.”

Nick Cave:

“Rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being, you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have the potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect, you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”

A smart Australian government would’ve sorted their colonising the indigenous population problems out before the Internet.

UnClobber by Colby Martin 📚

“In the essentials, unity; in the nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.”

From Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull 📚

“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”

D.H. Lawrence:

“the world fears a new experience more than anything. Because a new experience displaces so many old experiences.”

In You’re a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass) by Mike McHargue 📚:

“You are a miracle because 86 billion neurons in your brain form into thousands of structures and networks, built from a map created over billions of years to understand the world you live in. But sometimes, you are a pain in your ass because all these networks are running a playbook that’s been around a lot longer than you have. The cells in your body have survived through the eons by eating every delicious calorie they come across, allowing fear to make them run, and using anger to make them fight for their lives.”

The most Mexican thing I’ve seen yet is a guy who has a table to sell so he’s just carried it around the neighbourhood singing out if anyone wants to buy a table. Take that, Zuckerberg, and your stupid Marketplace.

Dan Shipper writes:

“Honestly, I’m usually annoyed when something gets trendy”

and I felt seen. So his article Permission to Be Excited About AI obviously spoke to me.

From Love Matters More by Jared Byas 📚

“Social media encourages the myth that who we are is defined by the opinions we type. But the older I get, the less interested I am in how well people can script their beliefs in front of a computer and the more interested I am in how tenaciously they go about grinding out their moral existence. I’m impressed when someone can get up every single day, determined to be a better human being than he or she was yesterday. Typing out what we “stand for” is easy. But loving well isn’t. I am not down on typing out our opinions—clearly. I’m only down on thinking that typing in and of itself constitutes an ethical life. May we stop thinking that becoming the kind of person we want to be is as easy as typing “me too” at those we agree with and “stupid people” at those we don’t. That’s a distraction from the real work of being human. And I’m ready to work.”

The duo behind Instagram - who sold for good coin and then left Instagram/Facebook in 2018 - have a new thing and it’s right in my ballpark. Think TikTok’s algorithmic feed but for text: artifact.news.

Do you know the most disappointing thing about the United States of America?

That the entire narrative of and about the country is defined by a small handful of topics recycled so quickly that outsiders often don’t even know which Police Officer killing, which mass shooting, which disappointing President, or which sexually abusive old white male you’re all angry about this week. It’s hard to keep up, and you need new stories. Not new fake stories so the rest of the world thinks you’re cool again. You need new truths so the new stories just kinda flow pretty easily.

Or be like Iceland. No-one ever hears about Iceland unless it’s a photo of some cool landscape.

Luna just asked Britt, “will you ever kill me, mummy?” And honestly, at the age of four it’s impressive that she’s already assembling friends and enemies lists, and that I got an auto-invite to the friends list but her mother required some investigation first.

Every time Buzz Aldrin comes up in the news or conversation I think of this Rhys Darby standup piece from 15-odd years ago. Starts 2:30 in.

Judging by the many different recordings I’m hearing and also seeing pop up on the web of Rick Rubin doing the circuit to promote his new 📚 book, The Creative Act, he’s much better in conversation than the written word. I’m reading the book and I’m struggling to stay tuned in.

📚 The Art of Growing Up by John Marsden:

“A friend of mine told the story of driving along a country road one day with her little son, when he remarked: ‘Look at the beautiful tree, Mummy.’ She replied: ‘Yes, it’s a manna gum.’ There was a long silence from the back seat, broken at last by her child asking: ‘So is there a name for everything, then?’”

E.B. White in Here Is New York:

“New York blends the gift of privacy with the excitement of participation; and better than most dense communities it succeeds in insulating the individual (if he wants it, and almost everybody wants or needs it) against all enormous and violent and wonderful events that are taking place every minute.”

If you’re wondering how Starlink is going, at my local Todos Santos (Baja California Sur, Mexico) post office today there 16 new Starlink packages and they say that every day there’s “lots.”

Why is no-one talking about how most movies are just made up in people’s brains?!

In so many ways existing on earth has never been better with threat of war or famine never being lower for so many of us. But for 339 million people in 2023 things aren’t so rosy. The New Humanitarian writes: Why these 10 humanitarian crises demand your attention now.

Currently reading: The Creative Act by Rick Rubin 📚

Rick Rubin is the guest on episode 649 of the Tim Ferris show and this is one of those podcasts you really want to listen to.

“Look for what you notice that no-one else sees.”

Robert Henri’s quote is quoted and man, this is sitting with me all day every day:

“The object isn’t to make art, it’s to be in that wonderful state that makes art inevitable”

This is a good listen.

Craig Hockenberry, of Icon Factory and Twitterific fame, unloads on Space Karen.

In 1978, neurologist Dr. James Austin proposed that there are 4 types of luck:

(1) Blind Luck (2) Luck from Motion (3) Luck from Awareness (4) Luck from Uniqueness

Sahil details them in this tweet thread.

Passport Photos is a very fun and cool photo series by Max Siedentopf.

Steve Jobs on how asking for help is a superpower:

“I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help me if I asked them for help. I called up Bill Hewlett (founder of HP) when I was 12 years old. He answered the phone himself. I told him I wanted to build a frequency counter. I asked if he had any spare parts I could have. He laughed. He gave me the parts. And he gave me a summer job at HP working on the assembly line putting together frequency counters. I have never found anyone who said no, or hung up the phone. I just ask. Most people never pick up the phone and call. And that is what separates the people who do things, versus the people who just dream about them. You have to act.”

Polina Pompliano with 15 People on the Most Important Question They’ve Ever Been Asked.

“Would you do this if you weren’t being paid?”

I’ve never felt more inadequate and stupid as a person whilst reading this essay and list of recommendations for writing good English prose by David Bentley Hart.

My favourite fiction/not-really-not-fiction book of 2022 was Russian Sleeper Cell by Nathan Monk 📚

Reading Publishers Weekly top twenty-five bestseller list is something I’m finding depressing, not because of the content of the list, but the numbers. So few books are being read. Props to Colleen Hoover, someone I’d never heard of before now, for having eight books on that list, it sounds like romance still sells.

It’s been twenty years since Bill Gates expressed his frustration at his own operating system and the team behind it on how hard it was to install Windows Movie Maker and honestly, computers are only slightly more useable today.

In every intellectual relationship there’s the person who recommends podcast episodes, and there’s the other person who doesn’t even listen to the recommended episodes.

In my and Scott’s relationship, I’m the recommending party.

But as is the fashion of the other person the two episodes of the one podcast that Scott recommended I listen this week, this is a banger.

Hallelujah, an episode of Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History, is possibly one of the most thought provoking 30 minutes of my life.

The single idea that at the point of release, the moment of deliverance, the second you ship this creative work, that it’s more than likely not done yet, terrifies me.

We live a life today where I do a thing and it’s done and we move on.

Contemplating that Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah took the journey documented in this podcast, I’m going to sit with this for so long.

Please listen to this, then message me and let me know what you thought.

Seth Godin in his post, The platform and the curator, on the difference between current platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and traditional platforms like radio, newspapers, and TV:

“Platform leaders understood that their decision to promote something instead of everything was a key part of their job.”

Quick little shoutout for a new series of daily/weekly emails I’ve recently subscribed to and actually really like. The formatting in the email is really nice, as is the writing and content: Semafor.

Just between you and me most of the time when I’m alone and approach the car as the driver in the USA or Mexico I approach the passenger side accidentally so I still open the passenger door, pretend to look for something, then proceed to the driver’s side of the car.

Meghan O’Gieblyn in The Believer posits that AI is a new god, the god of Dataism.

“Science was supposed to have banished God, but he keeps turning up in our latest technologies. He is the ghost lurking in our data sets, the cockroach hiding beneath the particle accelerator.”

Going on to this banger:

“Just as according to Christianity we humans cannot understand God and His plan, so Dataism declares that the human brain cannot fathom the new master algorithms.”

Thirteen years ago I read this on Seth Godin’s blog and it’s sat with me every day since:

“One option is to struggle to be heard whenever you’re in the room … another is to be the sort of person who is missed when you’re not. The first involves making noise. The second involves making a difference.”

All I want to in this life is make a difference. Nothing in me wants to make a noise.

My 2023 challenge is to get really good at modern search engine optimisation, which is pretty different to 2019’s SEO. So I’ve got a new project using Superstash, and it’s a celebrant directory. How original, Josh.

I have a long and beautiful history of catching up with friends in weird and wonderful places. I just had lunch with someone I’m pretty sure I met in the first month or so of my radio career, about 20 years ago, in a Mexican restaurant in Franklin, Tennessee.

The rubbish being pushed by Instagram Reels is astonishingly bad. Jacob Sweet unveils some of the nonsense in the New Yorker.

Currently reading: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker 📚

I’m only two pages into this book and already I’m sensing something important. Good parenting isn’t the theatre most think it is. It’s in the substance, not the theatre.

Steve Jobs in 1990:

“My observation is that the doers are the major thinkers. The people that really create the things that change this industry are both the thinker and doer in one person. And if we really go back and we examine, you know, did Leonardo have a guy off to the side that was thinking five years out in the future what he would paint or the technology he would use to paint it? Of course not. Leonardo was the artist, but he also mixed all his own paints. He also was a fairly good chemist. He knew about pigments, knew about human anatomy. And combining all of those skills together, the art and the science, the thinking and the doing, was what resulted in the exceptional result. And there is no difference in our industry. The people that have really made the contributions have been the thinkers and the doers.”

Dear the United States of America,

I would like to submit my application to become your house’s Speaker. I’m of the understanding than you do not currently have a speaker, and you are in need of a speaker. It just so happens that speaking is one of the few things on this planet that I am really good at.

Attached is photographic evidence of me at to Kirsten and Todd’s wedding speaking quite well, you will notice them as much as I speak really good, I also slide into the background of the story if the photographer uses the correct aperture.

For references, please see my Google and Facebook page reviews, where I maintain an almost five star rating, with the exception of a few random spam accounts that have left me one star reviews without any reason.

It is possible that me being an Australian currently residing in Mexico may be an issue, but for the next week, I am still in Tennessee. If you are willing to give me a green card, I am willing to speak at your house.

I am also available for weddings, parties, anything.

Yours sincerely, the next speaker of the United States of America, Josh “Married By Josh” Withers.

Naval in Don’t Rely on Credibility Stamps:

“It’s a priesthood. You’re only allowed to say what the priests have approved, and you can only say that if you are a priest, and the priests get to decide who’s a priest.”

Just discovered my favourite parable:

A businessman is sitting on the beach of a small fishing village when he sees a fisherman approach the shore with his daily haul. Impressed by the quality of the fish, the businessman asks the fisherman how long it took him to bring in his catch.

“Just a short while,” the fisherman replies.

“Why don’t you stay out longer to catch more fish?” the businessman asks.

“Because this is all I need.”

“But then what do you do with your time?”

“I sleep late, catch a few fish, play with my kids, take a nap with my wife, and then join my buddies in town to drink wine and play guitar,” the fisherman responds.

The businessman is shocked. He explains that he has an MBA, and that if the fisherman follows his advice, he could help him grow his business. “You could buy a bigger boat,” the businessman says, “and use the proceeds to open your own cannery.”

“Then what?” the fisherman asks.

“You could move to the city to open a distribution center.”

“And then what?”

“You could expand your business internationally and eventually take your company public,” the businessman says. “When the time is right, you could sell your shares and become very rich.”

“And then what?”

“Well, then you can retire, move to a small fishing village, sleep late, catch a few fish, play with your kids, take naps with your wife, and join your buddies in town to drink wine and play guitar.”

The fisherman smiles at the businessman and continues down the beach.

This nugget from Cory Muscara is sitting well with my soul today: “We often need to get out of alignment with the rest of the world to get back into alignment with ourselves.”

🦇

🐸

This bloke was just chilling but when he saw I had a camera he came and stood next to his sign as if he was at an animal trade show manning a booth

Monkey business

Live footage of me trying to find a better deal on insurance by comparing deals available on the market

Breaking news: not all flamingos are pink

I’ve assembled a top 10 list of top 10 lists I’m paying attention to this year:

1-10: .

Vale 2022

Being in Tennessee for New Year’s Eve this year has really revealed to me How annoying it must be to be an American with Australian friends. You wake up here to blurry fireworks photos from Oz then everyone goes to bed and it’s still half a day until NYE here.

Reflecting back over 2022 the one thing I can say for sure is that it’s been 21 years and I still haven’t forgotten about Dre

As lovely as it is, TikTok is candy from Chinese spies and really ought to be banned purely on national security reasons. More at daringfireball.net by John @Gruber.

Ted Gioia documents the story of Barnes and Noble’s rebirth and regrowth:

“Daunt refused to play this game. He wanted to put the best books in the window. He wanted to display the most exciting books by the front door. Even more amazing, he let the people working in the stores make these decisions. This is James Daunt’s super power: He loves books.”

Please let it be true, that 2023 is the year of RSS. Death to big tech running our conversations, our views, our beliefs, our relationships and our careers.

Where you from? Australians: Australia. Americans: Town, State, GPS Coordinates, local landmarks, name of their neighbour.

Waiting in an airport lounge for a flight to Dallas after wrapping up all my wedding bookings in Australia I thought I’d answer a few questions.

Matt asked for Tequila ratings. Mike asked Why Mexico? Kristie asked why people fly their celebrant around the world for weddings, why not get someone local? Dan asked What’s the best low-key wedding I’ve done. Steele demanded an answer. Chantell asked how often I meet with my couples to do personalised ceremonies I can do without a script. Luke asked about any time saving tips in business. Mel asked if I was quitting weddings now?

Pretty proud to see our AirBnb - The Tugun Pause - featured as a best Gold Coast AirBnb beach house and also best Gold Coast pet-friendly accomodation!

Have you ever wondered what the last tweet will be?

Update on my Playdate pre-order/order that I’ve been salivating over since 2019: they were kind enough to move me to American shopping and it’s now in the mail!

You’re Being Lied to About Electric Cars writes Jonny Lieberman:

“Science has repeatedly shown EVs are better for humans, despite the meme you just retweeted.”

What a dramatic moment: Just dropped in to get a haircut from my favourite barber before I fly back to North America on Tuesday and he’s quitting his job as I walk in! Awkwardly shakes my hand then gets his stuff and leaves!

“If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), ‘Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?’ chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.”

Growing up in Central Queensland meant your coastline was always filled with ships taking coal and sugar to the world.

I really weirdly always feel alone when I look at a coastline and see no ships.

So it’s been nice to be back in Mackay for a few hours.

My favourite thing about flying out of regional locations in Australia is that you can be having coffee with a mate just before the flight, watch the flight coming to land which, means you should probably get up and drive to the airport so you can walk on just-in-time.

iOS 16.2 means we can listen to music without the lyrics for focused work

Chatted to a flight attendant today who is proudly quitting and taking a job with Virgin after Christmas because of all the “negativity at Jetstar” which is hard to believe because Jetstar seems like it would be the loveliest place to work if you hate existing.

Is flying with your pillow a thing? Half the passengers disembarking and about the same boarding my flight have pillows. It’s an 11am 90 minute flight!

It’s absolutely glorious reading the reactions to the introduction of the push button.

“The fact that so often in modern America one may press a button and be served, seems to relieve one of any necessity for responsibility about what goes on behind the button?”

Oxford University was over 300 years old when the Aztec Empire was founded - more unlikely simultaneous events over at Kottke.

Patrick McKenzie’s travel recommendations post for Japan is really good:

“You should have most of your meals at places which you don’t know the name of and which, ideally, see relatively few foreign guests. Almost every train station in Japanese cities has an almost arbitrary depth of restaurants around it. The ones closest to the station are not your best options, but go out any station gate and walk 2–3 blocks (a few hundred meters) and then just walk in anywhere.”

I read posts like this and wish I was a better/wish I was a graphic designer. I jsut don’t hold the skill.

I like the premise of this app, I’m always keen to have breakfast with someone new and interesting.

Cam Winstanley on Read Only Memory writes about the making of what I still consider the ultimate real time strategy game, Dune II;

“Dune II did a great job of hitting the hot sand running, not only creating a genre but also working as a piece of stand-alone entertainment”

“You have to think anyway, so why not think big?”

Hey, you guys wanna play old people’s Seven Minutes in Heaven?

Novelist Jeanette Winterson on the value of darkness:

“I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing — their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are longer pauses.

To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights — then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to done, not a background to thought.”

Brian Eno:

“One of the reasons I have to take distinct breaks when I work is to allow the momentum of a particular direction to run down, so that another one can establish itself.”