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When the time comes, I will 100% support mandatory vacations, those who don’t should be forced.

You think that after the last year I’d be able to spell qarantein without using spellcheck.

Really surprised the humble salute didn’t make a comeback in 2020. It’s better than an elbow bump, and far more socially distanced, in fact the mere gesture implies that you should take a step back.

If cancel culture was real

“If cancel culture were real, Daryl Somers, who built a career and life on the back of a show where he did and said a lot of questionable things, would not feel comfortable publicly complaining about cancel culture. If cancel culture were real, Somers would not be giving an interview in a newspaper while doing press for his new job hosting a popular show on national television.” - The Age

Turns out that the Queensland Government just thought having five people together in a house at the same time was what they image a really awesome and fun and large party would be like if they ever got invited, just saying.

I feel like the marketing team at Zarraffas have never had breakfast, they just saw an Instagram Reel about it once

You haven’t lived until you’ve live texted a Covid press conference with all of your wedding clients getting married in the next few days.

In a way, aren’t we all boats stuck in a Suez Canal called life?

1yr ago today Queensland closed its border to other states with Police manning that border. That day was the beginning of a year from hell for our family and talking to a friend yesterday I realised I haven’t even mourned the last year yet. That’ll be something nice for future Josh to deal with.

We’re only one or two more “Covid ruined my wedding and now it’s your problem, Withers” away from collecting the whole set.

Good thing I’ve got great contracts that mean nothing in court.

Have you been overseas in the past 14 days? Have you been in a Covid hotspot or been in contact with someone who has Covid? Do you have a fever, runny nose, or a cough? Have you felt like visiting a Bunnings, K-Mart, or a Thai restaurant recently? You may have Covid.

“I’m working in Epping, Epping is barely Melbourne, and I’m working with a group of engineers that don’t smoke!?” is literally a sentence spoken by a Collingwood supporter walking to the MCG through Richmond and I think that’ll be the most Melbourne thing I experience this trip.

If you’re wondering if airports have spent the downtime they’ve been gifted over the last year to make their coffee better, they haven’t.

I keep on finding this weird smudge on the top of some of my photos when I get them back from the film lab. Anyone know what’s causing it?

If you’ve ever been disappointed, know that you’ve not been truly disappointed unless you have prepared food for a toddler to not eat despite telling you that they wanted that exact thing you just made, and you made it really well, am I raising a psychopath?!

For all intensive purposes words don’t matter, right?

I, for one, welcome our new unable to understand actual consent so we’re using a sexual consent app overlords.

PSA: Your kiwi fruit experience will improve once you realise you don’t need to spit out the seeds.

Just say, hypothetically, that you were married to a heavy rug user, what are some things you can encourage your partner to do to stop buying rugs and eventually kick that rug addiction?

Asking for a friend.

In the first two months of both our girls lives we’ve moved house. Oddly enough, into the same house both times. Tomorrow we’re out of the Palmy Crew and back into the Tugun Flight Path!

Police are now targeting a part of the people who misuse the word apart.

Did one person a million years ago cross their fingers and magically their situation changed for the better, or are we all just crossing fingers for feels?