Conspiracy theory: Hungry Jacks has never had thick shake machines. The whole idea of a shake from HJs is a ruse. They’re under the control of Big Softdrink.

“I’m only posting about @ARationalFear so @DanIlic sends me a prize pack”

Oh that burns @decryption

“Today we pay with both money and attention according to the direction of artists”

Non-Fungible Taylor Swift, on Stratechery

If you want to hate the world and Twitter at the same time paste “lang:en” in a Twitter search bar will give you live and direct access to the firehose of tweets that is the entirety of English speaking Twitter’s consciousness. I need to have a shower.

‘Everyone can have their own reality’

Quitting QAnon: why it is so difficult to abandon a conspiracy theory

Very very few stories are worth telling in their infancy. Most require research, understanding, context, empathy, and nuance.

For example, what if a story about girls twerking on a navy ship in front of the Governor General was held onto for a a day and some research was done?

But we as a society have decided not to invest in that research. We complain if a news website needs us to pay a subscription, and we scream about defunding the ABC if they don't say what we want.

So we end up with an angry story that's not entirely true, based on the premise that girls shouldn't dance on boats.

If you think about it, aren't we all twerking seamen on the navy ship of our lives? Thanks for getting to the end of this, I really just wanted you to consider yourself as a twerking sailor.

Luna’s first phone/block of wood

"It's the second-best bridge climb in the country, of both available."

Toddler, living her best life, sitting in a Coles Supermarket trolley, eating tuna sushi. Circa April 2021. iPhone 12 Pro 4.2mm lens, f1.6, 1/50 sec, ISO 200. Photographer: Joshua Withers.

Google “where does vanilla flavouring come from”

I’m going to be an Icelandic pop star, what are you going to be?

Five years since DJI has handed down an Inspire or Phantom from on high, and three years since a Pro Mavic has been bestowed upon us. What, oh Chinese lords, what will you gift us this week?

The Blue Mountains before the sun rises are a flippin treat

This is a 13,000 word essay most Australians won’t read, or even if they click through to it, they’ll find it “a bit long”, but it’s actually important, and will deeply affect you.

Defending The Indefensible: There’s No Case For Keeping A Justice System That Fails Half The Population

"A new generation of Gen Z investors are willing to take risks to counter a deck that may be stacked against them”

The death of HODL and the rise of the moon

Top three songs to listen to on your headphones whilst walking off an airplane through an airport:

3. Mr Brightside
4. Lose Yourself
5. Party in the USA

This list is final.

sunday flyday

“The reason that most of us are unhappy most of the time is that we set our goals not for the person we’re going to be when we reach them, but we set our goals for the person we are when we set them.”

— Jim Coudal

An author's view of the next 25 years on earth, published in January 1997

Accidentally tested the water proof capabilities of the iPhone 12 Pro today. It survived a 10 minute pool swim without a hiccup.

That was quick, Find My, considering there’s no items to add or find yet

This is a powerful read: How doctors die

Wearing your mask hanging off one ear is the 2021 version of kids riding their bike with their helmet hanging on the handlebar.

"I promise you that no-one is coming for your son's head. The data is clear, the number of false accusations that stick is negligible. If your son does not cross the line, if he doesn't teeter on the "edge of consent", if he doesn't misuse his power to control or belittle others, he will be just fine. But it's not bad behaviour we should be getting out in front of, extinguishing potential fires. We should expect more of our boys. We should be expecting good behaviour, because when it comes down to it, we all want our men to grow up feeling powerful and strong, but in their values of equality, respect and dignity."

– Zac Siedler, on the ABC

Nothing says you’re staying at a fancy hotel like naming it after Australia’s shiftiest bird then putting the word budget afterward.

It’s been a while since I’ve taken the 6am Saturday flight to Sydney for a wedding, it feels good. I feel dribs and drabs of normality returning to my life.

Person next to me in the bottle shop finally chooses a carton of cider and I say “so that’s decider” and got nothing. So now I’m telling you.

What a brave, cunning, and linguistic call for Tourism SA to make.

Gold Coast Mayor calls in Evergreen to cause our own Suez Canal incident on the M1 to stop Brisbane people going “down the coast” for Easter.

#notthebetootaadvocate

When the time comes, I will 100% support mandatory vacations, those who don’t should be forced.

You think that after the last year I'd be able to spell qarantein without using spellcheck.

Really surprised the humble salute didn’t make a comeback in 2020. It’s better than an elbow bump, and far more socially distanced, in fact the mere gesture implies that you should take a step back.

Turns out that the Queensland Government just thought having five people together in a house at the same time was what they image a really awesome and fun and large party would be like if they ever got invited, just saying.

I feel like the marketing team at Zarraffas have never had breakfast, they just saw an Instagram Reel about it once

You haven’t lived until you’ve live texted a Covid press conference with all of your wedding clients getting married in the next few days.

Cheers to the freakin weekend

In a way, aren’t we all boats stuck in a Suez Canal called life?

1yr ago today Queensland closed its border to other states with Police manning that border. That day was the beginning of a year from hell for our family and talking to a friend yesterday I realised I haven’t even mourned the last year yet. That’ll be something nice for future Josh to deal with.

We’re only one or two more “Covid ruined my wedding and now it’s your problem, Withers” away from collecting the whole set.

Good thing I’ve got great contracts that mean nothing in court.

Have you been overseas in the past 14 days? Have you been in a Covid hotspot or been in contact with someone who has Covid? Do you have a fever, runny nose, or a cough? Have you felt like visiting a Bunnings, K-Mart, or a Thai restaurant recently? You may have Covid.

Time to fly, Melbourne

“I’m working in Epping, Epping is barely Melbourne, and I’m working with a group of engineers that don’t smoke!?” is literally a sentence spoken by a Collingwood supporter walking to the MCG through Richmond and I think that’ll be the most Melbourne thing I experience this trip.

If you’re wondering if airports have spent the downtime they've been gifted over the last year to make their coffee better, they haven’t.