Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Asking for a friend.

  • I'm talking really fucking frustrated.

  • I wonder how many people have bought Office 365 after trying to do stuff in Apple Numbers and getting super frustrated.

  • It's like a real life Youtube video.

  • Some genius is on the public piano at #thekitchens starting @Coldplay songs beautifully then descending into a toddler smashing on keys.

  • Feeling quite proud of that last tweet

  • What's the best wedding photo ever, like, in the history of the universe? I'd love to see it.

  • Scene 1: dragons Scene 2: nazi symbol Scene 3: Michael@Bay's name Scene 4: Transformer in a football stadium.

    Bloody hell.

  • Ten points to Toyota for screening a 'prequels suck' ad before #StarWarsRogueOne

  • Pro Tip: Investing money into your marriage saves you investing money into your divorce.

  • Idea: a viral video full of big name celebrities asking big name celebrities to stop making viral videos asking people to do stuff.

  • I'd probably be even cooler if I could type it

  • I feel like I'd be more popular if i understood crickey

  • Tomorrow morning: I'm a guest on Radio National's Life Matters!

  • How many peeps in your bridal party? Are they all the same gender, either side?

  • I've just been confirmed as a guest on @RNLifeMatters on Monday morning - tune in!

  • Why are you getting married where you are getting married?

  • and a Josh to ensure the whole gag is shared online.

  • Proving once more that God is real, he fills a Qantas flight with hungover schoolies, a choir of screaming babies,

  • Is that what kids say these days?

  • The two schoolies passed our next to me on this flight went hard

  • "You're born alone, and you die alone. The value of the space in between is trust and love." - Louise Bourgeois

  • So good to hear that the House of Representatives is finally meeting some of the people it represents. #qt

  • What's the one thing you've hired or bought for your wedding that is non-negotiable?

  • Fun game: go into an Apple Store and try and guess which product line they'll cancel next!

  • 86th flight of the year. Seriously, arms: tired.

  • I can't believe Fidel Castro died! His music really spoke to me at a dark time of my life #RIPFidelCastro

  • ... that staff should not smoke marijuana behind the bar, they should go out the back #somelbourne

  • There's a staff meeting at the pub in at in Fitzroy and one of the 'staff issues' the manager brought up was ...

  • It's hilarious. She's going through the whole podcast recording process step by step.

    How very adorable. How very Melbourne.

  • Mother at the table next to me is explaining to the other mother that her son has started a podcast.

    • reconciling our business bank account in @Xero against @stripe credit card payments.

  • I feel like no-one else on the planet is talking about the issues dear to my heart -

  • The Failing @NYTimes sounds like a new @netflix series

  • How do we even know if it's breaking news if we don't put the words breaking news in all caps?

  • Now that I'm blue tick verified I just spend my nights in hotel rooms alone thinking of other verified people to tweet

  • I hate boycotts, they're often misaligned and misguided, but ...

  • Trump's going to build a fourth wall in Hamilton, the musical.

  • If a couple have asked me to make their ceremony an unplugged ceremony, how many times should I ask "that person" to put the phone down?

  • 8675309

  • The struggle is real: "why can't I invite all of Facebook to my wedding" is a thing.

  • A wedding is but one day - a marriage is for life - so have an awesome wedding, but make your marriage better than your wedding

  • Pro life tip: Banana Prawns are nothing like bananas.

  • Also a fantastic way to see what I do

  • Super moon? Get back to me when you make a weird crossover movie with Bat moon, Super moon #pfft

  • Just a late night thought from a Sydney airport hotel room ✌🏻️

  • If couples began their marriage together, planned their wedding together, maybe their marriage would be stronger.

  • The simple inclusive act of acknowledging that your customer is two people instead of one could actually change the world

  • I think the most powerful thing the #weddingindustry could change is instead of calling its customers brides, call them couples

  • Source: Barista thinks I'm a douchebag.