← 2014September 2014
I think my iPhone's Soundblaster 32 drivers need to be updated.
Obligatory begging post for Ello invite. If you've got an invite, pass one on to a brother.
I'm so frikkin pumped! 11 nights in NYC, 2 nights in San Juan, 3 nights in Washington DC!
Tickets to Puerto Rico booked! BOOYAH!
BREAKING: Local man really hasn't got time for these roadworks. Onlookers have watched him change lanes three times over the course of 50m.
Why can't silence be @RedFoo's new thang?
Would appreciate your thoughts on a blog post I'm working on: How Google's driver-less cars would positively impact marriages/relationships.
This will only end well if @karlstefanovic jumps onto the bandwagon early. Do it Karl, do it. (If you happen to read this Karl, hi)
In the coming months Hitchiker's 11 will be "that song" that everyone mimics in funny videos on YouTube ... and eventually Seven Sunrise.
Best prepaid SIM-only deal for an Aussie travelling to the USA for three weeks?
I just charged my new iPhone in the microwave like Facebook said and it's rubbish. It's only charged on the outsides, not in the middle.
Hey Australia, my 100% non-terrorist dark-skinned mate had a glass bottle thrown at him yesterday. Everyone chill the feck out.
Just caught a ride to Riverfire with Uber for free using my own 'marriedbyjosh' promo code!
Doctor Who theme music blaring out of the PA system, on the grounds of a university, as fighter jets fly over #justanotherdayatwork
Doing my 100th wedding for the year this afternoon ... that explains where the year went!
Yep ... I just quoted the Bobs in a blog post. It's a good day.
#HeyASIO my ICQ number was 49739400 but I've forgotten my password- help a brother out?
Just emailed one of my heroes that lives in NYC. I figure that I'm not in NY every day, and maybe Seth Godin wants to have lunch with me?
I'm worried that once day my child will be asked what daddy does. And they'll be forced to answer "drink beer or coffee with people in love"
Wanted: bow tie alignment technology so that my bow tie is always horizontal. Get back to me when I can send you a cheque, science.
Eagerly anticipating Apple iOS 8.11 for Workgroups
"I have a bum" - pop music today
Sorry, I didn't recognise you without the Instagram filter.
"If you're having iPhone problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bend ain't one" - iPhone 5S user
Saw two Twitterlebrities today. Is this supposed to happen in threes?
If anyone's looking for a good deal on advertising from the Police Institute in their members magazine I'm got a guy on the phone ...
So @1Password is nice and super buggy on iOS8 isn't it? I take it that this was a bad time to become a new user?
"You're the iPhone Stocks app of people" - awesome insult I just invented!
I think #Gillard has forgotten what the deal with Australian politics is. It's a parliament that represents the public, not personal views.
Guys, spring has been hiding in Toowoomba. In case you were looking for it.
Phone call from Australia Post's Albion MC tells me that they can't post a letter when they've only got my name & phone number on the front.
My grandma told us a lovely story last night about how she used to have a nice young helpful tanned house boy.
It's weird that 20 years on everyone is Friend-crazy but when it first aired no-one even tweeted about it.
The next @popupwed location is being announced tonight at 8pm. There are animals involved!
Idea: four motorcycles welded together with a large square bracket so you get all the excitement of a motorbike with the capacity of a car.
Int'l Anaconda spokesperson says that they indeed do want some and the recent speculation about them wanting none is far from the truth.
“The best way to complain is to make things.” - James Murphy
So I know a guy, ok.
Super dodgy looking guy out the front of my office in an old Commodore wants to know if I know if I know anyone looking to buy a laptop.
In exactly four weeks time we'll be Jetset for LAX, and onward to JFK! New York City cannot come soon enough!
After seeing Harley Davidsons wrapped in rainbow flags ridden by angry men I'm almost too scared to ask what's happening in the valley?
Trust Apple and Scotland to make enough noise to push International Talk Like A Pirate Day off the frontpage.
Dear UK wedding people: the domain name wedding.uk is available and I can't register it because "apparently" I don't live in the UK.
Beats International playing on @B105Brisbane, is it the end times? This is jam hot.
Lining up outside Woolworths, gotsta get me new Apples. I'm first in line yo!
Has America liberated Scotland yet?
Guys, be careful downloading iOS8, I've heard that Chumbawumba's latest album is forced upon you and there's no way to remove it.
Ugh. I haven't got enough space on my iPhone to tweet about not having enough space on my iPhone to upgra
About to go on air on @Nova937 - if you're in Perth tune in! Talking about the @PopUpWed and about how weddings can be awesome! #popupwed
Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroger breaking up, which is sad news, but maybe now they'll refocus on making us terrible chart topping music again.
TV show idea: Dancing With The Scars, a dancing show with anyone who's lost Dancing With The Stars #DWTS
I think it's hilarious that GMail refuses to ever accept that emails from Apple are not spam. I'm sure Google has nothing to do with it.
Really excited to be chatting to #Perth's Nathan, @Natty_Nat_Nat and Shaun on @nova937 in the morning about @PopUpWed and awesome weddings!
Ugh! Bono's whole iPhone address book just automatically downloaded to my phone.
If you think a free Uber ride is cool, wait until you see what we're doing next year with them!
You know what laptop or phone launch would blow my mind? One where the battery lasts all day. That's my business' biggest limitation.
I'm not in Perth tonight so I can't see it, but I'm on @7NewsPerth for the @PopUpWed in a moment! Would love it if anyone sent me photo/vid
Breaking News: David and Margaret reveal they never even liked movies anyway. They're both reported to be 'so relieved' now everyone knows.
Breaking: scientists say rhyme supplies are getting very low. Govts are calling on rappers & poets to use their rhyme reserves wisely.
To celebrate the new Currumbin mosque, everyone's going to church tis weekend. Pass it on.
If i had of know that at some time in my life I would be in charge of a love conveyor belt, I would've lost my shit as a younger man.
Dear #Perth, yes that was me interrupting your #thexfactorau to say hi! I'll see you tomorrow night on @7NewsPerth to talk @popupwed!!
My Perth dinner date just postponed, anyone want to eat drink and be merry tonight in ol' Perth or Fremantle town?
It's Perth pop-up wedding day! @popupwed
Freakin' excited about making some wedding history tomorrow as seven couples get married in seven pop-up weddings in #Perth!
Airport cuisine is really underrated.
Business idea: a chain of restaurants that bring the charm and flavour of traditional airport food to people that aren't flying today.
Best day ever. I was on a flight full of school children going on camp. But flight has been changed! Now flying to Perth via Melbourne :)
Perth friends, should I pack a jacket for tomorrow/Monday?
Brittany Snow-Withers and I both just commented "wow" on a toilet paper deal at Woolworths so do we get the pension now?
Australia's terror level has been raised to high, but don't be alarmed it's still 3 levels behind our 'People Different To Us' threat level.
Ian Thorpe thinks Ricky Martin is fully sick.
So just to clarify, is our national security level "high" or "get high"?
Ok, stay with me on this one: Degrassi Park. A movie about an island where an eccentric millionaire has brought Degrassi High back to life.
Who amongst us can honestly say he has a face that’s a work of art, a smile that would light up New York City, and a sexy heart?
I can confirm that I probably don’t have Ebola and I live on the Gold Coast.
Can anyone confirm if the P-Plater 300 car race is on today on the M1? Also, Qld govt, your road safety advertising isn’t working.
Australia needs a former national leader tweeting like the US has @dick_nixon. Whip out your iPhone, Bob, John, Paul, Malcolm?
Prediction: version 1 of the Apple Watch sees it as a slave to an iPhone host. By version 5 the watch will be the host, the CPU.
Ebola just became very GC. Just wait ‘til all the kids are doing it.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s nanny is suing Apple over their misuse of the name ‘Apple Watch’.
In 25 years time are they still releasing annual #OMGiPhone updates?
From a long term branding and marketing perspective, what’s Apple’s long-game for the iPhone?
Consider this Twitmas: I've just deactivated every fake, joke, random idea, cool idea, idea that I don't have time for, Twitter account.
My worry of a Mosque opening in Currumbin is that a giant hole in the earth will open betwn it & the Arundel mosque & swallow us Christians.
Fleeting trip to Perth this weekend. Still managed to book myself onto a red-eye flight, like I always say I won’t do.
Everyone settle down, Apple Pay and Apple Watch are only available in the US.
Apple completely redefines the watch industry by releasing a watch that will need to be replaced every September #gamechanger
Ppl aren't pirating, they're not watching 'correctly'. Shift focus from we're 'being stolen from' to 'in the wrong marketplace' #CopyrightAU
"That's the best wedding ceremony we've ever had on the island" - Tangalooma's Events Manager. Why thank you sir!
Someone that collects the empty beer glasses. What does everyone else ca them? RT @JohnLacey: @JoshuaWithers -- What's a “glassy”?
Of course they'd give him the lowest paying job on the island.
David is an evangelist at heart, he just wants to convert everyone to the good church of Tangalooma.
Tangalooma's biggest ambassador is a glassy named David. He's the happiest and friendliest person on the island. And on the boat over.
#bnetraffic Traffic stopped northbound through Springwood on the M1 due to a dropbear on the motorway mauling a pedestrian to death.
New research shows that we put a lot of faith in new research.
In future seasons of #DWTS Ch7 will be matching professional dancers with massive luminous spheres of plasma due to local star drought.
#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Dad leaves home only to do more housework than he used to
"Successful people do what successful people won't. Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better" - Jim Rohn
Trying to find a bunch of money I had hidden somewhere no-one would look. Finally found it in my Google+ account.
1990 called wanting their t-shirt back but then I told them about the iPhone 6 and then they hung up.
#BREAKING Research reveals that Paleolithic cavemen were really into cupcakes. The implications for those on the Paleo Diet are exciting!
Why doesn't Obama just tell Liam Neeson that ISIS have his daughter?
If you weren't sure if today was an awesome day, the elderly gent sitting at the table next to me is watching "Boys Boys Boys" on YouTube.
Breaking News: Dinosaur owner, failed resort owner, politician and mine-owner finally relents and allows himself to pay less tax.
Please, no-one distribute my nude hacked iCloud photos. They're all terribly photoshopped and not representative of my true nude self.
... I did google hipster alternative celebrant and I found you." 2/2
Email: "Let me know your thoughts on this, I know it is unusual and I am asking you if you would feel comfortable and ok to do it ... 1/2
OMG DID I JUST INVENT A NEW VIRAL HASHTAG CRAZE?!!?? #whitepeoplesolutions
Facebook Messenger really is this generation's world war isn't it.
I think I just got a great finance deal on a garage door opener, store owner said he had no remote interest in selling me one!