Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • Over-excited Korean guy wearing a Jeep shirt driving a brand new Jeep bought a Jeep.

  • “Never bring a Dyson Airblade to a towel fight“ - @MrBigFists

  • Can anyone recommend an electrician on the Gold Coast? Our hot water system is on strike, showers are forecast with a cold front expected.

  • Everyone stop asking me why @MolksTVTalk and i are consciously uncoupling. He’s the one making all of the decisions.

  • I'm 32 years old and I still don't "know what that means" when radio announcers say "it's Friday and you know what that means!"

  • In breaking news, The Bachelor transforms into the bachelor, same guy but without the capitalised first letters cause it's not a title now.

  • Ok, stay with me on this one, new name for Blake: The Batch-he-lay-her #TheBachelorAU

  • Hi, I find u on the Google, how much you charge? $935 My friend got married last month for $350, why u so much, u don't do anything special

  • I'm going to wear a burqa to Parmigiana tonight.

  • Peter is to oin tune with the termites RT @612brisbane: Called in a pest controller to answer your concern on the cereal box Peter.

  • I can’t help but think I’ll be a broke elderly man spending every last dollar on remastered Eminem and Nickelback albums.

  • There needs to be a ruling made on whose armrest is whose in a cinema.

  • You probably didn't know this, but the official bird of the City of #Brisbane is a guy trying to drive the wrong way down a one-way street.

  • In a moment of confusion, Parliament House’s chef has taken burgers off the menu.

  • "I find Bourke Street confronting" - Josh Withers

  • Movie Idea: #LiamNeeson just stands in front of a camera punching people for 2 hours: "Taken 4: It's Face Value"

  • Movie idea: #LiamNeeson's daughter is totally ok so they buy a tandem bike: "Taken 4: A Ride"

  • Movie idea: Liam Neeson resigns from being a retired CIA agent and becomes an Ibuprofen: Take 4: Back Pain.

  • Movie idea: #LiamNeeson realises the movie producers have been behind his daughter's kidnapping this whole time: Taken 4: A Fool.

  • Movie idea: #LiamNeeson is replaced by @HackedOffHugh in the next in the Taken series. It's called "Taken 4: Granted"

  • Wow! I'm working from home today and just realised I'd been wearing pants all morning for no reason!

  • Any Wordpress theme nerds available to do an Illustrator to Wordpress theme conversion? We've hired @chopchoporg but they're being painful.

  • Will Smith and the remaining survivors will really enjoy your #Ebola jokes in 6 months.

  • I think my iPhone's Soundblaster 32 drivers need to be updated.

  • Obligatory begging post for Ello invite. If you've got an invite, pass one on to a brother.

  • I'm so frikkin pumped! 11 nights in NYC, 2 nights in San Juan, 3 nights in Washington DC!

  • Tickets to Puerto Rico booked! BOOYAH!

  • BREAKING: Local man really hasn't got time for these roadworks. Onlookers have watched him change lanes three times over the course of 50m.

  • Why can't silence be @RedFoo's new thang?

  • Would appreciate your thoughts on a blog post I'm working on: How Google's driver-less cars would positively impact marriages/relationships.

  • This will only end well if @karlstefanovic jumps onto the bandwagon early. Do it Karl, do it. (If you happen to read this Karl, hi)

  • In the coming months Hitchiker's 11 will be "that song" that everyone mimics in funny videos on YouTube ... and eventually Seven Sunrise.

  • Best prepaid SIM-only deal for an Aussie travelling to the USA for three weeks?

  • I just charged my new iPhone in the microwave like Facebook said and it's rubbish. It's only charged on the outsides, not in the middle.

  • Hey Australia, my 100% non-terrorist dark-skinned mate had a glass bottle thrown at him yesterday. Everyone chill the feck out.

  • Just caught a ride to Riverfire with Uber for free using my own 'marriedbyjosh' promo code!

  • Doctor Who theme music blaring out of the PA system, on the grounds of a university, as fighter jets fly over #justanotherdayatwork

  • Doing my 100th wedding for the year this afternoon ... that explains where the year went!

  • Yep ... I just quoted the Bobs in a blog post. It's a good day.

  • #HeyASIO my ICQ number was 49739400 but I've forgotten my password- help a brother out?

  • Just emailed one of my heroes that lives in NYC. I figure that I'm not in NY every day, and maybe Seth Godin wants to have lunch with me?

  • I'm worried that once day my child will be asked what daddy does. And they'll be forced to answer "drink beer or coffee with people in love"

  • Wanted: bow tie alignment technology so that my bow tie is always horizontal. Get back to me when I can send you a cheque, science.

  • Eagerly anticipating Apple iOS 8.11 for Workgroups

  • "I have a bum" - pop music today

  • Sorry, I didn't recognise you without the Instagram filter.

  • "If you're having iPhone problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bend ain't one" - iPhone 5S user

  • Saw two Twitterlebrities today. Is this supposed to happen in threes?

  • If anyone's looking for a good deal on advertising from the Police Institute in their members magazine I'm got a guy on the phone ...

  • So @1Password is nice and super buggy on iOS8 isn't it? I take it that this was a bad time to become a new user?