"You're the iPhone Stocks app of people" - awesome insult I just invented!

I think #Gillard has forgotten what the deal with Australian politics is. It's a parliament that represents the public, not personal views.

Guys, spring has been hiding in Toowoomba. In case you were looking for it.

Phone call from Australia Post's Albion MC tells me that they can't post a letter when they've only got my name & phone number on the front.

My grandma told us a lovely story last night about how she used to have a nice young helpful tanned house boy.

It's weird that 20 years on everyone is Friend-crazy but when it first aired no-one even tweeted about it.

The next @popupwed location is being announced tonight at 8pm. There are animals involved!

Idea: four motorcycles welded together with a large square bracket so you get all the excitement of a motorbike with the capacity of a car.

Int'l Anaconda spokesperson says that they indeed do want some and the recent speculation about them wanting none is far from the truth.

“The best way to complain is to make things.” - James Murphy

So I know a guy, ok.

Super dodgy looking guy out the front of my office in an old Commodore wants to know if I know if I know anyone looking to buy a laptop.

In exactly four weeks time we'll be Jetset for LAX, and onward to JFK! New York City cannot come soon enough!

After seeing Harley Davidsons wrapped in rainbow flags ridden by angry men I'm almost too scared to ask what's happening in the valley?

Trust Apple and Scotland to make enough noise to push International Talk Like A Pirate Day off the frontpage.

Dear UK wedding people: the domain name wedding.uk is available and I can't register it because "apparently" I don't live in the UK.

Beats International playing on @B105Brisbane, is it the end times? This is jam hot.

Lining up outside Woolworths, gotsta get me new Apples. I'm first in line yo!

Has America liberated Scotland yet?

Guys, be careful downloading iOS8, I've heard that Chumbawumba's latest album is forced upon you and there's no way to remove it.

Ugh. I haven't got enough space on my iPhone to tweet about not having enough space on my iPhone to upgra

About to go on air on @Nova937 - if you're in Perth tune in! Talking about the @PopUpWed and about how weddings can be awesome! #popupwed

Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroger breaking up, which is sad news, but maybe now they'll refocus on making us terrible chart topping music again.

TV show idea: Dancing With The Scars, a dancing show with anyone who's lost Dancing With The Stars #DWTS

I think it's hilarious that GMail refuses to ever accept that emails from Apple are not spam. I'm sure Google has nothing to do with it.

Really excited to be chatting to #Perth's Nathan, @Natty_Nat_Nat and Shaun on @nova937 in the morning about @PopUpWed and awesome weddings!

Ugh! Bono's whole iPhone address book just automatically downloaded to my phone.

If you think a free Uber ride is cool, wait until you see what we're doing next year with them!

You know what laptop or phone launch would blow my mind? One where the battery lasts all day. That's my business' biggest limitation.

I'm not in Perth tonight so I can't see it, but I'm on @7NewsPerth for the @PopUpWed in a moment! Would love it if anyone sent me photo/vid

Breaking News: David and Margaret reveal they never even liked movies anyway. They're both reported to be 'so relieved' now everyone knows.

Breaking: scientists say rhyme supplies are getting very low. Govts are calling on rappers & poets to use their rhyme reserves wisely.

To celebrate the new Currumbin mosque, everyone's going to church tis weekend. Pass it on.

If i had of know that at some time in my life I would be in charge of a love conveyor belt, I would've lost my shit as a younger man.

Dear #Perth, yes that was me interrupting your #thexfactorau to say hi! I'll see you tomorrow night on @7NewsPerth to talk @popupwed!!

My Perth dinner date just postponed, anyone want to eat drink and be merry tonight in ol' Perth or Fremantle town?

It's Perth pop-up wedding day! @popupwed

Freakin' excited about making some wedding history tomorrow as seven couples get married in seven pop-up weddings in #Perth!

Airport cuisine is really underrated.

Business idea: a chain of restaurants that bring the charm and flavour of traditional airport food to people that aren't flying today.

Best day ever. I was on a flight full of school children going on camp. But flight has been changed! Now flying to Perth via Melbourne :)

Perth friends, should I pack a jacket for tomorrow/Monday?

Brittany Snow-Withers and I both just commented "wow" on a toilet paper deal at Woolworths so do we get the pension now?

Australia's terror level has been raised to high, but don't be alarmed it's still 3 levels behind our 'People Different To Us' threat level.

Ian Thorpe thinks Ricky Martin is fully sick.

So just to clarify, is our national security level "high" or "get high"?

Ok, stay with me on this one: Degrassi Park. A movie about an island where an eccentric millionaire has brought Degrassi High back to life.

Who amongst us can honestly say he has a face that’s a work of art, a smile that would light up New York City, and a sexy heart?

I can confirm that I probably don’t have Ebola and I live on the Gold Coast.

Can anyone confirm if the P-Plater 300 car race is on today on the M1? Also, Qld govt, your road safety advertising isn’t working.