Hi! My name is Josh, this me blog.

The dance of pleasing the social media algorithims of the world’s biggest companies, whilst being beat to death by strangers with their comments displeased me so now I’m here.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just live without broadcasting. But there’s an animal inside me — right down in the marrow — that keeps asking ‘can you see me?’ and silence has never once soothed it.

  • I think I just broke the shop assistant’s heart when I mistakingly said I’ve just finished work for the year & I’m on holidays to NYC 2morrw

  • Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’ is a beautiful song about a man lovingly telling his wife he’s planning to divorce her on his 71st birthday

  • Off to @rabbitandcocoon for the @Uber_GoldCoast launch tonight! #UberGC

  • Just shirt fronted the ATO. The ATO won. But I got a few fronts in before it got me.

  • Just shirt fronted a coffee. The coffee lost.

  • Ok, stay with me on this: Jay Z in Beyoncé in a black Gone Girl but it’s real life. Brilliant?

  • Just changed my Dropbox password to boobs

  • Any recs for a travelling app to store itineraries, flight numbers, reservations etc? TripIt looks liek a win, do you use anything?

  • Like to know more about my jokes? Send a stamped self-addressed envelope to Studio 4, 30 Light Street, F/Val, & I'll send you a factsheet.

  • ... find a better method of putting the ball at the end of the field.

  • Let's all just never mention a country or race in the world again ok. Unless it's a sporting match in which case those Kiwis can go f...

  • Thinking about wearing a dog suit and leg cast, carrying a boom box the whole time we’re New York #BigCityNights

  • I don't want to seem petty, but someone has changed the font on my GMail email notifications and TODAY IS RUINED.

  • Nothing is on fire. Fire is on things. Mind. Blown.

  • I feel a bit petty just leaving but I feel they’re being petty trying to get another $3 out of me.

  • Has there been an economics study done on $10 minimum EFTPOS a limits? If there’s a limit being enforced I’ll just go to another shop.

  • It’s nice being the talk of the town lol

  • Bilambil service station attendant asks me if I’ve heard about the seven weddings happening at Summergrove Estate today! #popupwed

  • Tonight on 60 Minutes , the man who once proclaimed ‘every day I’m shuffling’ caught walking.

  • Can you actually earn, or spend, Flybuys points on actual flights anymore?

  • 97.3fm must be the only station that plays Star Trekkin after LMFAO

  • Tonight on 60 Minutes, the man who once proclaimed ‘every day I’m shuffling’ caught walking.

  • “My grandfather knitted me this jumper“ - thing we’ll hear when we’ve really reached gender equality

  • Persevere my brothers and sisters in the faith.

  • An encouragement for the survivors. It's been three weeks since the iPhone 6 came out and I haven't upgraded yet. It gets easier each day.

  • I try my hardest to not talk about politics and religion on here, but wouldn’t that be a cool band name? #PoliticsAndReligion

  • Well I don't know what you've been doing today but I just got ordained as a minister in the state of New York.

  • Mars is the only planet in the known universe that is 100% inhabited by robots.

  • “There used to be a Pizza Hut there!” - me, like, everywhere

  • We're at Summergrove Estate in the Tweed Hinterland this Sunday - hope the skies stay blue

  • It's the #GoldCoast #popupwedding weekend with seven couples getting married! I love #popupwed because it's no BS, 100% authentic commitment

  • Ugh! I just saw my first Instagram ad. My photos are all so dirty now. I'll be back after this shower brought to you by Johnson & Johnson.

  • I'm sure none of their other vendors hold them to account for every dollar as much as I do.

  • I really do feel sorry for any wedding media that ever approaches me to advertise.

  • The Brisbane market has never been more ripe for the @BrisbaneTimes to click print on it's website & start selling something at a newsagent

  • I'm not saying we should, but, like, has anyone ever given a sloth cocaine - @eliyudin

  • I've been working with a pretty awesome Sydney photographer on his new website and blog, and he just launched, and is giving away a camera!

  • Thoroughly making sure all of my bikini pics are gone from the internet in-case I get murdered and it makes frontpage news.

  • SPORTSBALL WTF! #DONTLIKEEITHERTEAM

  • Surely it's time the world saw another song featuring the word 'haver'?

  • Just did an interview with the Daily Mail!

  • Just saw someone renting a DVDS from an automated DVD kiosk, so it’s a pretty massive day for the DVD industry.

  • High school friend just invited me to like her favourite supermarket's Facebook page. Life really is a box of chocolates isn't it.

  • "In life, change is inevitable. In business, change is vital." Author, Warren G. Bennis

  • Remember the good old days when we used to post on ello? Good times.

  • That last tweet is possibly too meta

  • Do you think Apple’s U2 giveaway might have been more successful if they hid the album in a folder on the phone called Fun Stuff?

  • It might have something to do with not having lost any direct family members or friends.

  • OMG WHEN OR WHERE WILL THIS #BACHELORAU SAGA END? Asking for a friend.

  • Over-excited Korean guy wearing a Jeep shirt driving a brand new Jeep bought a Jeep.