Australia needs a former national leader tweeting like the US has @dick_nixon. Whip out your iPhone, Bob, John, Paul, Malcolm?

Prediction: version 1 of the Apple Watch sees it as a slave to an iPhone host. By version 5 the watch will be the host, the CPU.

Ebola just became very GC. Just wait ‘til all the kids are doing it.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s nanny is suing Apple over their misuse of the name ‘Apple Watch’.

In 25 years time are they still releasing annual #OMGiPhone updates?

From a long term branding and marketing perspective, what’s Apple’s long-game for the iPhone?

Consider this Twitmas: I've just deactivated every fake, joke, random idea, cool idea, idea that I don't have time for, Twitter account.

My worry of a Mosque opening in Currumbin is that a giant hole in the earth will open betwn it & the Arundel mosque & swallow us Christians.

Fleeting trip to Perth this weekend. Still managed to book myself onto a red-eye flight, like I always say I won’t do.

Everyone settle down, Apple Pay and Apple Watch are only available in the US.

Apple completely redefines the watch industry by releasing a watch that will need to be replaced every September #gamechanger

Ppl aren't pirating, they're not watching 'correctly'. Shift focus from we're 'being stolen from' to 'in the wrong marketplace' #CopyrightAU

"That's the best wedding ceremony we've ever had on the island" - Tangalooma's Events Manager. Why thank you sir!

Someone that collects the empty beer glasses. What does everyone else ca them? RT @JohnLacey: @JoshuaWithers -- What's a “glassy”?

Of course they'd give him the lowest paying job on the island.

David is an evangelist at heart, he just wants to convert everyone to the good church of Tangalooma.

Tangalooma's biggest ambassador is a glassy named David. He's the happiest and friendliest person on the island. And on the boat over.

#bnetraffic Traffic stopped northbound through Springwood on the M1 due to a dropbear on the motorway mauling a pedestrian to death.

New research shows that we put a lot of faith in new research.

In future seasons of #DWTS Ch7 will be matching professional dancers with massive luminous spheres of plasma due to local star drought.

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Dad leaves home only to do more housework than he used to

"Successful people do what successful people won't. Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better" - Jim Rohn

Trying to find a bunch of money I had hidden somewhere no-one would look. Finally found it in my Google+ account.

1990 called wanting their t-shirt back but then I told them about the iPhone 6 and then they hung up.

#BREAKING Research reveals that Paleolithic cavemen were really into cupcakes. The implications for those on the Paleo Diet are exciting!

Why doesn't Obama just tell Liam Neeson that ISIS have his daughter?

If you weren't sure if today was an awesome day, the elderly gent sitting at the table next to me is watching "Boys Boys Boys" on YouTube.

Breaking News: Dinosaur owner, failed resort owner, politician and mine-owner finally relents and allows himself to pay less tax.

Please, no-one distribute my nude hacked iCloud photos. They're all terribly photoshopped and not representative of my true nude self.

... I did google hipster alternative celebrant and I found you." 2/2

Email: "Let me know your thoughts on this, I know it is unusual and I am asking you if you would feel comfortable and ok to do it ... 1/2

OMG DID I JUST INVENT A NEW VIRAL HASHTAG CRAZE?!!?? #whitepeoplesolutions

Facebook Messenger really is this generation's world war isn't it.

I think I just got a great finance deal on a garage door opener, store owner said he had no remote interest in selling me one!

Is there a tool that tells you why a certain site ranks higher than yours for certain keywords on Google?

15 weddings in the first 15 days of September ... oh my lord.

One of the groom's vows for upcoming wedding "I vow to let your mother park her broom at our house when she comes to interfere, I mean help"

Plot twist: GRL's 'Ugly Heart' is actually a poignant political anthem.

Bill Caralis' Superradio network's weekend talkback is probably the closest Australia has to the Grand Theft Audio in-car talkback station.

Can we just stop and recognise that @Telstra is using a Postal Service song in it's recent ads.

Schapelle Corby: God's gift to current affairs television.

It's lovely that the nine Gold Coasters with full time jobs not in retail or hospitality get a public holiday today.

I'm having coffee with a pre-marriage counsellor right now. Why are you, or aren't you, or did you, get pre-marriage counselling?

Dear collective nerds of the world, can you recommend a desktop printer, that's not a $30k photocopier, that can print on 300gsm paper?

Police blocking off Light Street in Fortitude Valley, sirens, lights, what's happening? I can't get to my office.

Digital radio just celebrated it's 5th birthday in Australia. Still not in regional areas, still not in almost every car.

Any lawyers around? I'd like it if someone could give an interpretation of "or words to that effect"

"Pay any price to stay in the presence of extraordinary people." - Author, Mike Murdock

Since the last episode of the @ThingCommittee was released, 8mths ago, 8,226 ppl have listened. So there's more coming. This is a teaser.

And now I feel old and ungrateful. And I want to play Wolf3D.